December 30th , 2014 a day that I will remember for the rest of my life. Dante AKA Puppy Love was laid to rest. It was interesting the feeling or sensation that I felt on that morning. The one when I knew that it was the last day on this earth for my closest companion. Wow this sensation was intertwined with emotions that do not know composure. Needless to say it was a sensation that I will never forget. Our last day together Dante wanted to be outside and by himself. He walked the perimeter of the property and made sure that the kids that were playing very close to the fence line know that if they crossed this fence line there was going to be trouble. He came back up to the house and did not want to come in. He found one of his favorite places in the bushes and basked in the sun. It was a very cold but crystal clear Oregon day. I grabbed his leash and went on what I knew was going to be our last walk. I prepared some things that would retain sentimental value and we departed to meet the maker. We went to our long time vet and they had a room for us waiting. After he was laid to rest I was in complete disarray . I realized that it was probably not safe for me to be driving at this time since I was crying so hard things were looking a little blurry. I pulled over to a park that Dante and I spent significant time. I am really not clear on what happened to much for the rest of the day. But I did end up in some bar in the far back booth in Sellwood where nobody knew me. I was crying and eating at the same time. People were almost afraid to walk by me with what were ever flowing river of tears down my face. My waitress that day was an extra kind person that expressed some form of care at that time. December 31st, 2014 I awoke very early this day to hopefully see a sign that all was well with Dante. I looked out the window. I walked the property and still nothing as so far as a sign. The day passed rather quickly due to my emotional state I am assuming. I knew that I needed to get out of the house and go for a drive. I gathered all of the sentimental items that I had and put them in Dantes place in the truck. I ended up in Northwest quadrant of Portland. All of the sudden something inside told me to turn on the road Lovejoy. The time of day was almost half past 4. The sun was already disappearing and a residual glow was what was left. I drove all the way out on this road till I had no idea where I was. But I knew I was in forest park somewhere. I turned and followed this windy road up to what looked like a little picnic area. I grabbed Dantes leash instinctively and set out into the forest. I got to a place where there was a clearing. All that remained of the light was glowing and highlighting the tree canopy. I snapped a picture of the sky and then listened very closely. I could hear a 4 legged animal off in the distance. I re-positioned myself on a crest above the ravine and listened even closer. This animal stopped. Hesitated. circled then ran off at the exact time the sun disappeared from view. That was enough for me to have some form of a sign to be at peace. But the day following I examined the picture closer and found Dante in the shadow of the Tree Canopy. I took a picture from when he was in his best physical condition reduced the opacity and dropped it on top of the image from the day before and boom there he was. Dante was a Red Wolf mix that came from the mountains of Arizona. He was no doubt my best companion I have had to date. Got him at 6 weeks and he passed at 14. This last week has been very tough. I believe that I have faced the most painful of emotions and allowed them to flow and come to the surface. It will take time to get used to his physical body not being with me. But I believe that this was the last piece of my old life that just passed on with Dante and now it is into the new.
Posted on: Tue, 06 Jan 2015 03:51:59 +0000