Dictionary For Mothers Bottle Feeding: An opportunity for daddy to get up too Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the kids play outside Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots Full Name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him/her Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labour is still vivid Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say Look Out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and he/she begins to make those familiar grunting noises Verbal: Able to whine in words Whodunnit: None of the kids that live in your house Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge!”
Posted on: Thu, 21 Nov 2013 11:00:04 +0000