Disconnect I just returned several days ago from visiting my son Jacob in Israel. Baruch Hashem he is doing beautifully and continues to be a work in progress as we all are. Upon the 12 hour LONG flight I had time to think without any interruptions especially no electrical devices. I think it was actually shock to my system. As much as I couldnt wait to see all my emails, texts, Facebook updates, there was an element of peace that I rarely experience. Very often, I wonder about what my children see when they look at me. In my fantasy world, I imagine them thinking some flattering things, like for example: I look pretty; I put on my makeup well; I have a nice smile; or I have pretty white teeth. Im sad to say this, but I know they see something else. They cant even see my face and all its features because I am constantly looking down at ONE thing: my phone. I said it. It wasnt easy, but it finally came out. I guess owning up to it makes me a feel a bit better. (Really! It’s supposed to!) When I was growing up, our phones were connected to one thing- the house. Even if it was cordless, its base was attached to a wall. You couldnt do much with it other than talk on it. Nowadays, our phones have become attachments to our physical selves – they are our EVERYTHINGS. It is a big problem. I need to get it under control and figure out a way to disconnect when I need to be “on” with my children. The guilt factor is very high. What really threw me over the edge was when, recently, my family sat down together to eat and none of us were speaking to another one of us! We were “communicating”, but with our devices. SOMETHING was wrong with that picture. What happened to those times when we used to talk about our day? What about the times we used to talk face to face? How can we understand each others words if we are not even looking at one another? This Iphone generation has lost the essential skill of being able to read and interpret the most valuable queues of communication, which is the reading of facial expressions and body language. These are an integral part of face to face communication. I think we all feel this way at one time or another and, then, we invariably start second-guessing ourselves as to whether we are really the kind of parent that we think we are or that we want to be. I think we all pass that test, BUT that does not mean we can’t strive to do better! From that moment on, I took an oath to myself that I would make a disconnect time and hide my phone (because if I dont, I know myself, and I will keep on checking it). It is the time at night when I am needed to be both physically AND emotionally present. I know it will not be easy, but lets see if I can start to re-discover some of what has been hiding behind my Blackberry.
Posted on: Sun, 14 Dec 2014 04:51:34 +0000
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