EMERGENCY!!!!!!! PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT So today while in my favorite store, (Brookstone) taking my 15 minute power nap in the $4000.00 zero gravity massage chair (that clearly states for use by potential buyers only, limit 3 minutes. But I am a SERIOUS non-potential buyer therefor I get 15 minutes. Why, because I laugh in the face of store rules, Im a loner Dotty, a rebel, well that and I slipped the college kid working there a fivesky). Anyway, after I woke up from my nappypoo and put my pants and shoes back on I had an epiphany. I thought to myself. Self, there are so many awareness campaigns on Facebook right now but not a single one that addresses the devastating affliction that strikes down thousands of men my size in their prime each year. The condition known as, Sand Chaffed Thighs and Balls. So many big boned men each year have their vacations ripped away because of this devastating ailment during their hard earned vacations and by God it has to stop. Just think, curing this will virtually eliminate all nagging from your female loved ones that for some GD reason must walk 50 miles along every beach to collect a bag of seashells that will end up on the back of the guest bathroom toilet, or worse, your bathroom toilet forever mocking and reminding you of that cursed event and ruining the only place that a man can really be a man without judgement in the modern home. By raising awareness to this horrific and tragic condition we can prevent countless men from being charged with domestic violence when the girls say Lets go for a walk or worse, Baby lets go to the Outlets. So I thought what better way to raise awareness then to place a directional arrow made of sand pointing to the necessary preventive products that will shield us from this Satan Infused Fire in our crotch when we have lost all the protective layers of skin thus resulting in raw nerves rubbing against raw nerves. So I hereby proclaim that we must all do our part to end this problem once and for all. I shall call it. #theiceychappedballschallenge I have already started the ad campaign at the store.
Posted on: Sat, 23 Aug 2014 23:11:57 +0000
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