Enabling It is common for many family members to be protective of - TopicsExpress

Enabling It is common for many family members to be protective of a loved one who has developed an addiction. In protecting their loved one, family members often make excuses for an addict’s actions. They lie for then, help pay their bills and sometimes tolerate their stealing from their own family’s coffers. These are but a few examples of enabling behavior. No one wants to see a loved one suffer, so the natural response is to help them with his problems, most of which have been caused by his addiction. By doing so, the family is enabling the addict to continue his addiction without having to face the negative consequences of his actions. Preventing the addict from hitting bottom as a result of his addiction gives them reason to continue with his addictive behavior. Family members often lack the awareness of the addictive mind. They sometimes foster the tendency to manipulate, accuse and blame others for the problems that arise from their loved one’s addiction. In order for an addict to learn the value of being responsible for their own actions, their family needs to stop their enabling behaviors. Only then can the addict be effectively guided to take the first step to recovery. Denial Family members are often in denial of the serious effects of their loved one’s addiction. Even when an a loved one is showing signs of grave addiction, such as loss of employment or incarceration, some family members refuse to associate these consequences to substance abuse. Denial is a powerful tool used to avoid reality. The family must overcome this state of denial so that they can be open-minded about seeking treatment for their loved one’s addiction. Codependence Codependent family relationships arise from over-involvement in each other’s lives. An addict requires attention and family members often become pre-occupied with caring for them, trying to save them, or trying to keep them happy. Codependent family members may think that keeping the addict happy and contented will give everyone peace of mind.

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