Ever notice how when you go out to like receptions your wife always says dont drink to much. Then when your there they want you to dance but you cant because nothing about sitting there is fun and logically being completely sober and dancing doesnt make sence. So you say no 67 times to a slightly tipsy spouse thats calling you no fun. So then you comprimise...well if i had a few drinks in me maybe id loosen up to wich they reply...no you dont ,,look at that guy over there he isnt drinking and hes been out there every dance. So you look over to see some 59 year old overwieght bald guy wearing a yellow shirt and paisley suspenders shakin his ass and slinging sweat beads on the veggie tray (that youve grown quite fond of). To top it off just getting your wife to put her coat on has become a 45 minute daunting task because she and some distant relative she rarly speaks too are making the profound discovery that the reason they never hang out is because they both were under the impression that the one (for some reason) didnt like the other. Maybe had there been a genuine conversation between the two more often than not the paradoxal enominaly would not of occured. Yet history is doomed to repeat itself because instead of simply exchanging numbers at that moment using one of the thousand stiff pink paper napkins and freshly pilphered registry pens that are stuffed in thier purses, they decided that an easier way would be to get it from Janice (another distant and rarely mentioned cousin) whom they both think should have thier contact info. So later in the evening gentlemen, when your wife asks you if you had a good time just remember when you sneaked outside for 7mins in the bitter cold to grab a few drags of a cigarette, and that dude you borrowed a lighter from told you the joke about having old man balls, look at her and say,,,I had a great time.
Posted on: Wed, 05 Mar 2014 14:41:37 +0000
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