Everyone that knows I have terminal cancer tells me how good I look and I respond that I feel good. It was the same way last year when I had chemo and lost all my hair. I had asked God to use this cancer in me to work and be a witness for Him but I looked so healthy on the outside all the while the cancer was raging a war on the inside of me. I remember saying to God, Father, how will they listen, how will they know if they cant see my suffering? That is when I began to stop wearing my wigs so that the doors would open for me to talk about how much my Jesus loves me. Now that my cancer has spread I am hearing the same thing from others about how good I look. For now I will not be given chemo and will not get to use my baldness to open doors as before because I will not lose as much of my hair on the hormones I am on...My oncologist wants to let me enjoy this time that I am still strong and feel good. At this moment in the world of cancer there is no cure for me so I am going to enjoy this gift of feeling good without the ravages of chemo for a while.... I am in treatment to extend this feel good time by being treated with hormone pills and a shot every 3 weeks. For this I am so thankful and pray that the side effects are not as devastating to my body. Quality is more important than quantity. I want to live forever but will take as much time as God gives me. I pray that it is years and not months but only our creator knows our days. I say all of this because I cant be a witness with this disease by leaving my wig off again because I have not lost my hair. Baldness was used to open the doors to get the attention of others last time so now it will have to be through my sharing my story of Gods overflowing of grace on me on FB. I have to let you know that He loves me so much that He is giving me the chance to change someone elses life by mine, by my living for His cause. FB is my best chance to let the most people know that I know that because I will die I will only then truly begin to live......makes me smile and I am not afraid. I do not post on here for pats on the back, I post to touch a hurting lost soul. I post to introduce someone to Jesus by showing them how he makes the weak strong and the meek bold...I post for you who Jesus says, Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened , and I will give you rest. Nothing that you are dealing with can He not give you strength to get through...I am an example...so you see even though I havent lost my hair to open doors for my witness, He is using my boldness in my love for him to speak loud of His love for me even in this time. Please do not miss the point that God is using my faith in this fight with this disease to speak to you!!!
Posted on: Tue, 19 Aug 2014 11:10:01 +0000