Feelings, when they appear in us, are best noticed and pondered on. Everyday feelings, such as frustration, happiness, loneliness, irritation, anger, sadness, freedom, worry, unease, fear, depression, stress, despair or peace - these are there to be noticed, greeted and pondered: what made them appear, however fleetingly? We are not judging our feelings in any way. Neither are we taking them too seriously, for they are the most ephemeral of things, with no life other than that of a parasite. We are just interested observers, looking to see where they came from. I am suddenly happy or suddenly sad. But why do I feel that now? What needs in me do these feelings expose? Each feeling we greet as a friend and a truth teller. In the end, we will need to go further. It is good to notice and observe but we will need to go further and permit the feelings buried within us to come to the surface in all their awful BUT liberating power. We will need to put aside our reflections - however astute they may be - and go to the place of pain; the place where our child within dares to speak what it has never dared speak before. It is one thing to observe; quite another thing to feel. It is one thing to reflect from distance on a wall of fire, and quite another to walk through it. When we begin to allow our child to tell their story, we too will stand in the epicentre of the trauma; we too will have to walk through the wall of fire - the fire of feeling. Ultimately, it is feeling and not wisdom which lead us to the clearing. There is no going round this fire; only the going through it. It is the place where we allow ourselves to feel those things we have never before allowed ourselves to feel. Others may surround us with support, and it may be that a particular soul helps us with our journey. But in the end, they can only encourage from the sidelines. The walk through the fire is inevitably a lonely one, for it is our true self that we are reclaiming, our originally hopeful and open life that we are seeking out. No one can seek it for us. There are some things we have to do for ourselves. And the hardest of these is to feel truly.
Posted on: Sun, 14 Jul 2013 13:37:25 +0000
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