For Phil Raddin, my colleague and friend, I share my story. I love you and I am so heartsick. This is what I posted as a comment to someone else but I need to share it: I was diagnosed with clinical depression in my 20s. I am almost 51 now. I was finally put on medication after being hospitalized for stress and severe postpartum psychosis after childbirth when I was 27. I was raised in a church that believed depression was a sin based in selfishness. I literally heard from the pulpit that if you are depressed, you need to go take some cookies to someone less fortunate than you. Imagine going through that in my 20s. I was miserable and so ashamed! Thank God many churches know better now. I WAS able to be off of antidepressants for several years in my 30s but when I was hit with chronic pain as a result of injury and inherent spinal issues I went back on and have been ever since. I am not ashamed of that. I am educated about it. I have posted this about myself several times and it has never been easy. But if it helps one person to know that a successful, vibrant, loving, caring, funny and well-respected (by most anyway) person can live with clinical depression, it will be OK. I have days where I dont want to live and days Im glad to be here. It depends. And I know the suicidal mindset, though I have never attempted it. I have had thoughts many many times. People who say it is a selfish act dont have a clear understanding of the mindset. When you are in that head space your mind plays a trick on you. It tells you that you are unburdening the people you love. You are doing them a favor and that in the future, after the grieving subsides, your loved ones will understand and they will be better off. It is NOT TRUE. But that IS usually the mindset. It is an utter hopelessness and an overwhelming desire to be rid of pain, whether physical, relational, mental or emotional and often all of the above. You just have to acknowledge in that time that what you are thinking is flawed by your depression and you can GET HELP, GET BETTER, and you JUST NEED TO GET PAST THE EXCRUCIATING MOMENTS. You have to reach out and GET HELP. It WILL get better. If you feel this post would be helpful, feel free to copy it anonymously or not. I lost someone I loved yesterday to depression. Ill keep telling my story.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Sep 2014 13:57:09 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015