Forgive the length and breaking of character for this post: Tonight and tomorrow (17th of Teves, Wednesday night, January 7th, Thursday January 8th) marks the 9th yahrtzeit for my mother, Chana Rochel bas Azriel Zelig, Nancy Lebowicz. My mother passed away during Parshas Vayechi, the last parsha in the book of Bereishis (Genesis). Parshas Vayechi sets the stage for the slavery that the Jewish people will endure in the book of Shemos (Exodus). The parsha closes with Yosef saying that even though he is about to die and that even though things will get really bad, don’t worry, because G-d will redeem them one day. He says the words, “Pakod Yifkod- G-d will surely remember [them].” When describing G-d’s promise, Yosef uses the word “pakad,” the same word that was used for a previous promise from G-d. Back in Parshas Vayeira, the Torah states that G-d had remembered Sarah (“V’Hashem pakad es Sarah”). Even though the years of slavery are going to be long and it seems that things will never get better, don’t lose hope. G-d had remembered his promise to Sarah, a 90-year-old woman who had all but given up hope in ever having a child, and granted her one. So too, this nation, which descended from that very woman and her child, should have hope that G-d will remember them and things will get better. No matter how bad it seems. Yosef epitomized this philosophy of persevering despite the insurmountable odds. Even though his brothers hated him, even though he was unjustly thrown in jail, he trusted that things were going to get better. Even if 2014 was an especially hard year with all the death and hate that was rampant (and 2015 isn’t starting off great), the future will be better. A couple months ago, I thought about how Yitzchak, whose name comes from the word tzachak (to laugh), was the first person to be born into the Jewish people. And to me it makes perfect sense that the first born Jew was named after the word for laughter. Laughter plays a big role in Judaism. It’s the way that we’ve been able to get by for this long. Jews are able to take the word tzaak (to cry out) and replace the ayin for a chet, turning it into tzachak. (And if you’re Yemenite, then the words are pronounced the same way. Laughter has always been a big part of my life. There are plenty of people in the world who are always serious, and there’s never a shortage of seriousness. The world could use more laughter. And it’s the way I—and I truly believe anyone—can connect to other people. It has an amazing ability to take the harshness of reality and change it, so that the world is not so dark and cold. (And it’s even more important to consider given today’s terrorist attack in Paris.) My mother had a very good sense of humor and loved to laugh. She really liked the 3 Stooges, but then again, who in their right mind doesn’t. The word Vayechi translates to And he lived.” At our shiva house, I remember someone telling me that the Torah only says 2 people who “lived.” Sarah and Yaakov. Both people went through tremendous pain from the absence of children. Sarah, in her barrenness, and Yaakov, in his separation from his beloved son Yosef. But the joy they experienced from their children was unparalleled. Sources say that Sarah’s youthful appearance was restored when she became a mother. When Yaakov was reunited with Yosef, he was rejuvenated. And it’s those last 17 years when Yaakov was back with Yosef, when he was finally in peace for once, that he was able to truly live. When Yaakov and Yosef met again, Yaakov lived for 17 more years. My mother and I also had 17 years together. This week’s parsha, Shemos, literally means “names.” Names are the way we ensure that those who have died still have a part of them alive. My mother had the Hebrew name, Chana Rochel, two women in the Bible who were willing to do anything to be mothers. It was what they lived for. And for my mom, being a good mother was all that she cared about. Lastly, Vayechi mentions that Yaakov requested that Yosef promise to bury him in Israel. Yaakov calls the concept doing a chesed shel emes (a true kindness). Rashi says that it’s called this because when you do something for someone who has died, you’re able to do something completely altruistic. No part of you is looking for a reward. I’ll add kindness to the list of things the world can use more of. As disjointed as some of those thoughts were, I hope that tonight and tomorrow (January 7th and 8th) that you have my mother’s neshama (Chana Rochel Bas Azriel Zelig) in mind for any prayer that you say or any good deed that you do so that it can be elevated in Heaven. Thank you.
Posted on: Thu, 08 Jan 2015 03:48:39 +0000
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