Forgivness: So, earlier tonight, I had taken the bait and stepped into unforgiveness of an individual and its just crazy how quickly that can lead to hatefulness. Basically in a situation I was caught off guard and things didnt go the way I had hoped/wanted. I was hurt by the person (and I assure you they had no idea they hurt me). I actually held it in while I was with them, but as soon as they were no longer with me I picked up the phone!!! I took matters into my own hands (dumb thing to do, I dont recommend it) and I drew my sword (not the good kind) and started pot-stirring with someone else who was unsuspecting and catapulted my fear into someone elses sphere. YUCK. I didnt realize that I had given fear permission to run rampant in my heart in those moments. Then of course out of my mouth came the fear. Following all of that, I didnt feel better I felt worse. As I was convicted, I talked to my handsome hubby and confessed I had handled things wrongly. Just admitting I had behaved in a way that didnt glorify Jesus was a start. I prayed for God to show me what to do with this situation. I tell you all this to get to the good news which is Holy Spirit led me right to bethel tv this evening where I picked up the live stream...BOOM topic is FORGIVENESS...Yes Lord, Im listening... In the message Danny mentioned that forgiveness from the heart which leads to reconciliation (a state of forgiveness) is the absence of anxiety or vengeance. This was not what I was experiencing earlier lol. I was filled with anxiety as I spent time with the person as well as after and then while speaking to the other. It was definitely not a reconciled situation, there was nothing harmonious about it. I was reminded how important it is too keep my love on, and to have boundaries with those who have repeatedly caused hurt and pain in my life. I was led then to immediately pray and to put an end to the unforgiveness and released all parties (including myself) from my judgements and punishment and freedom from contempt. Also led to release blessings and love...AHHHH now thats the stuff! EVERYONE should receive love from me...EVERYONE should receive forgiveness and real forgiveness that is truly from my heart. That means I dont seek to expose peoples misdoings to anyone else, and that I wont speak against them. I will continue to draw them in love even though they have the potential to cause pain. I will bless them. It was truly freeing to hear that it is OK for the relationship to be changing. I stay in love of course, but some relationships are just constant sources of strife and pain. I love when Danny used it is ok to keep horses in the barn analogy. If my horse was in my house, I would probably have issues with him so I keep him in the barn lol. Basically boundaries in relationships... :-) and ...I do not need to seek justice myself, I am not the judge. My Father in Heaven has got this and He just needs me to do what He needs me to do which begins by PRAYING and asking Him. I am so thankful for His voice. I needed to hear that message and He knew it. I have peace and shall sleep sweetly. Praising my awesome God tonight...He is SO worthy.
Posted on: Mon, 26 Jan 2015 05:22:01 +0000
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