Found the following IT jokes on a website. Link at the bottom. Whats the definition of an IT professional? Someone who solves a problem you didnt know you had in a way you dont understand. Whats the definition of a good IT professional? Someone who has a software patch named after him. When does a person decide to become an IT professional? When he realizes he doesnt have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker. What does an IT professional use for birth control? His personality. Whats an extroverted IT professional? One who looks at your shoes while hes talking to you, instead of his own. Whats an IT auditor? Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded. Why did the IT auditor cross the road? Because he looked in the file and thats what they did last year. Comprehending IT professionals - Take One Two IT students were walking across campus when one said, Where did you get such a great bike? The second IT student replied, Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said, Take what you want., so I took the bike. The first IT student nodded approvingly, Good choice; the clothes probably wouldnt fit. Comprehending IT professionals - Take Two An architect, an artist and an IT professional were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The IT professional said, I like both. Both? The IT professional replied Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the office and get some work done. Comprehending IT professionals - Take Three To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the IT professional, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Comprehending IT professionals - Take Four A businessman was interviewing applicants for the position of Divisional Manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant the question, What is two and two? The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was twenty-two. The second applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a calculator and showed the answer to be between 3.999999 and 4.000001. The next person was a lawyer. He stated that in the case of Jenkins v. Commr of Stamp Duties (Qld), two and two was proven to be four. The last applicant was an IT professional. The businessman asked him, How much is two and two? The IT professional got up from his chair, went over to the door, closed it then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, How much do you want it to be? He got the job. Comprehending IT professionals - Take Five An IT professional was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, If you kiss me, Ill turn into a beautiful princess. He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The IT professional took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, Ill stay with you and do ANYTHING you want. Again the IT professional took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, What is the matter? Ive told you Im a beautiful princess and that Ill stay with you and do anything you want. Why wont you kiss me? The IT professional said, Look Im an IT professional. I dont have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now thats cool. Comprehending IT professionals - Take Five (Thanks John S) Four engineers get in a car. The car wont start. The Mechanical Engineer says: Its a broken starter The Electrical engineer says: Dead battery The Chemical engineer says: Impurities in the gasoline The IT engineer says: Hey guys, I have an idea. How about we all get out of the car and get back in stevegoldmanassociates/IT_Jokes.html
Posted on: Fri, 04 Apr 2014 13:15:38 +0000
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