Teach Me How To Talk (Tip #12):Learn How To Listen https://facebook/CouplesAcademy In order to make any relationship more rewarding, practice responsive listening. Responsive listening means hearing the other person out, then letting him know what you understand him to be saying in the following ways: 1) Attention: To concentrate, eye contact, no distractions (t.v., radio, reading, etc.). Control the urge to interrupt or argue. Don’t hold your tongue but forget about what you might have to say next and concentrate on being a receptive vehicle for the other person. 2) Appreciation: Let the person know you’re interested. Suspend your agenda, needs and reactions. Welcome the speaker’s need to share. Avoid “emotional reactivity”. Being defensive destroys your understanding and attacks the speaker. When you protect or defend yourself to what is being said, you don’t effectively listen. When you don’t, you’re caught up in trying to be right. If you already know what someone is gonna say, let them say it anyway. 3) Affirmation: Restate what the person said, so that you clearly understand and the person feels appreciated. Have responsive listening (really, your right, I hear you). An empathetic response encourages the speaker to go deeper into his/her experience. Don’t just sit there dead. The person knows that you are truly listening. Question with sincerely not with hostility. 4) Acknowledgement: Acknowledge what’s being said. Validate the speaker’s feelings by admitting when you’re right and wrong. Taking responsibility for what has been done helps bring closure on the issue at hand.
Posted on: Wed, 10 Jul 2013 16:57:49 +0000
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