Friends, judging from the questions Ive had in the last few days, it is time once again to post this. Thanks to all of you who have very sweetly wondered about the kids and I. I originally posted in mid-March. Weve had some developments this week that Im sharing because I dont want my kids to have to hear me discuss the details with everyone who might be interested in my/the kids welfare, and frankly I dont want to have to discuss it over and over, so if you find personal information off putting, you should likely stop reading now (although if that were the case, you likely wouldnt be my facebook friend at this point.) 1. In spite of both my and Rics best efforts, our marriage is not healthy, and weve decided to end it. 2. My husband is a good person, whom I refuse to criticize. We were poorly matched. We each brought baggage to the marriage that is unmanageable. Thats it. 3. My children are in no way the reason for the divorce. Ric and I would be divorcing whether my kids existed or not. The only people responsible for our marriage failing are Ric and I. 4. The kids are sad, and Trinity had a little meltdown yesterday that resulted in a baby-sized hole in our sheetrock, but they seem to be coping fairly well overall. For kids with already substantial attachment issues, losing someone as important as a father figure is traumatic. Id appreciate any prayers/kind thoughts/good energy youd like to send their way. Im trying not to feel huge amounts of guilt about traumatizing my kids further. 5. After the divorce, my name will change back officially, but Ive begun using my maiden name in correspondence, professionally, etc. I will not miss having three unwieldy names. 6. My kids and I will not return to OKC. Tulsa has been good to us, and its been especially good for my career. Its also provided a fresh start for my kids, away from their biological family. They have friends and teachers here who provide a good support network. 7. Were fine financially. (Really. We are. Dont worry). 8. I will not be selling the house. However, Stephen Kovash if you thought the OKC house resembled an Anne Rice novel, youve not seen anything, yet. I have more square footage in Tulsa, and Im looking forward to marrying family-friendly with New Orleans bordello. It will be fabulous, if I can ever finish all my home remodeling projects. 9. I am ridiculously heartbroken and extraordinarily resilient at the same time. Im good. Dont worry about me - it just pisses me off. If you have to show care/concern, please do something stupid that makes me laugh. I can always use more humor. 10. Please do not offer to fix me up (yes, thats already happened, really). Its kind that people are trying to help, but thats not helping. Fairly sure at this point that Ill be ridiculously and happily unattached until I die. 11. I appreciate dear, sweet friends and family and former boyfriends who have recommended attorneys and who have reminded me that Im not the first person to divorce after thinking I was in a marriage for the long haul. You are all fabulous, lovely, kind people, and I appreciate you greatly. 12. In conclusion, Ive always been a bit of a late bloomer. By having my first marriage at 41 and my first divorce at nearly 45, I guess Im just catching up to the rest of you. Big love, everybody. Big, big love!
Posted on: Fri, 04 Apr 2014 03:18:44 +0000