Gah. This is a righteous pain. I *still* find it hard, while writing a zero draft, to just put [xxx] said*, or [then blat happens] when Im short of details but rolling on story - and just roll on. Even though I know - I *know* - that the right name or word or scene or whatever will come to me. Anywhere from a few minutes down the line or a day or two. Of course, my pernicious habit of perfectionism - and allowing it to block me - predates even my writing addiction. And a habit that long ingrained takes a mess of time, attention, and effort to overwrite with a better one. And, of course ... its not *really* a matter of finding it hard. Nor of allowing it to block me. These arent external entities taking evil action against me. An alien does not teleport down from its saucer and hold a ray-gun to my head to make me break flow and obsess over a word or a sentence that Im just as likely to have to change later. I do it. Me. To myself. I make it hard to do what I want and need to do. I block myself by indulging my perfectionism. Which in turn comes down to the key truth: I do these things because I scare myself. Fear is also not a thing that *happens* to be. Its a thing I do to myself. Knowing that, sadly, does not make it easy to change my behavior. But knowing what I really need to work on *does* make it possible. And its still a royal pain in the toot that it takes so damn long. Oh, well. Im still gonna do it.... And Im still gonna drive on with this gorram draft. *Thats xxx because thats an easily remembered sequence thats unlikely to crop up in the actual document, thus making an ideal search & replace placeholder name. Not xxx as in smutty. *Necessarily.*
Posted on: Wed, 16 Jul 2014 19:16:05 +0000
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