Go to war or go to jail. That has been on my mind ever since I enlisted back in 2003. What is the true reason why I chose to serve? I never have been able to explain this to myself. I served in the Infantry, I completed every mission. In the end I lost people close to me and I developed a hatred for life. I was spit on by children I felt sorry for. I lost friends I loved. I missed funerals for family. I was told, “It’s a tough loss, but you have to drive on.” I forgot my way home. I forgot how to love. My memory of home never made it past high school. Who did I become….I remember…they said I became an asshole. The world doesnt need more assholes. Why don’t I kill myself? Oh wait, suicide is a coward’s way out. Don’t forget those you will leave behind. Don’t forget your children. I love my children, but why is the woman I conceived them with never happy. Why do Soldiers kill themselves? Life is so easy. Easy, then you go to war come back and act like everything is just fine. A Soldier salutes the flag every day at 0630, and then works out until his body aches. It seems easy until you close in on 40 years old. Fall out of a long run and they treat you like shit. I fall out of a run and suddenly I never did shit for this country. My life, my thankless job. I endured two years of therapy, and rehabilitated. I thank my father and Dr. Paolini for everything I am today. I pray for those still enduring the fight. 1,200 Soldiers with felonies used to serve our ranks. The war has winded down, they were no longer needed, and where are they now. They are gone because we live in a world that doesnt forgive. There is statute of limitations for crimes committed. Why isnt there statute of limitations for those who have served their time? Why should one have to state their felon after 7-10 years? Never mind, we live in a world that doesnt forgive. I love my life and I love my family. I have the greatest wife and I now have a great life. I pray everyone will discover life the way I have.
Posted on: Thu, 13 Nov 2014 02:00:35 +0000
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