Gottman found the key to success in the ordinary everyday - TopicsExpress

Gottman found the key to success in the ordinary everyday interactions between couples. He calls them “bids.” Say my partner makes a beautiful lemon tart and asks me to come into the kitchen to admire it. I do so reluctantly, because I’m immersed in my own thing. My response is flat, cursory. She has made a “bid,” according to Gottman, for my attention and I didn’t deliver. Now we all do that sometimes. But if the majority of “bids” between couples go unanswered or worse, dismissed with contempt, the union is doomed.

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