Grab a coffee, this is a long one :) So my first born child started her senior year of high school this week. She came home after school, did her homework (yes homework on the first day!), grabbed a quick bite to eat and headed off to work. She blew through like a too-short summer breeze. Then she was gone. After work it was back home to finish her homework and straight to bed. She looked exhausted. Looked a bit beaten by the responsibilities hurled at her so suddenly after summer break. As I sat on the couch with my feet propped up, nursing the littlest one, thumbing through the oldest ones accounting book, I couldnt help think about my senior year.... My senior year of high school. It certainly wasnt anything at all like I had envisioned. Mostly because I had started the year nearly six months pregnant. That meant no hockey my senior year after playing for five years and investing several hundred dollars of my hard earned money into equipment that I only used for one season. I didnt go to homecoming. What was the point? My former teammates all pretended not to know me. As if they could no longer see me. As if my presence would tarnish their reputations. No extracurricular activities. No time for that when you have a full time job. No cute outfit to start the year (maternity clothes in the late 90s...blah!) Stares? Whispers behind my back?? Oh yeah. I got those. Disapproving looks of teachers? Yep. Got those too. Along with a slew of other things I didnt expect. Back pain, swollen ankles, leaking breasts, exhaustion, a bladder the size of a walnut. Feet in my ribs?! Who knew? If being a full time student and nursing assistant was hard, being a full time student, nursing assistant and brand new mom was brutal!! 3am feedings, 8 am classes, study, quizzes, tests, work at 3pm, homework at 11pm, pumping milk into the toilet at school & work, learning how to care for this precious child while missing her like crazy when I was away!! And trying to be the best mom I could be. Of course there was also the laundry, cooking, cleaning, vo-tech, babysitters, bills, etc, etc, etc...oh and better get that drivers license too! Wow! Not what I had planned for my senior year. How was little ol me supposed to pull all that off?? God was at work in my life even then. Even when I had no idea how much he loved me or that he even knew me at all. Some times were harder than others, but I got through it. Graduated with honors, kept my job (and my sanity) and had my loving husband (boyfriend at that time) completely supporting me through everything. It wasnt easy. It wasnt what I had planned. However it definitely turned out better than anything I could have planned! I was not prepared for how quickly I would grow up or how much I would love the little life entrusted to me or how she would change my life forever. Most definitely for the better ♡ No I am not encouraging teen pregnancy. I am not expecting sympathy for getting knocked up at 17 and out of wedlock. Just tellin my story :) We never know what life has in store for us. Many days it seems the hard times keep getting harder. But sometimes, the good just gets better. And those hard times make you stronger and make you dig deeper into your faith. No matter how hard it seems Brianna Marie you have the strenghth through Christ to do ANYTHING you set your mind too!!! He has amazing things planned for your future! I will always be here supporting you and I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!!! #bestsenioryearever #cantbelievemybabyisthisold
Posted on: Sat, 23 Aug 2014 06:07:34 +0000
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015