Grandmamas funeral was yesterday, and it was nice to see so many people come out to support our family. While it was a sad occasion, it was also one that was complete with stories and recollections of the amazing woman she was. This is a woman who helped raise me during my very young years, and while my TBI has wiped the slate clean of pretty much every memory from that time, I still have wonderful things written down about her. And I have learned a great deal about her, too - and the things I have learned explain different facets of myself, and how I act in very different ways depending upon the situation (DID and C-PTSD stuff). She once rescued, studied, and raised a praying mantis and the hundreds of babies that came with it. She was dangerous and wild when she wanted to be. She suffered greatly during some parts of her life, but used that suffering to help others (she did help create Rape Crisis, after all). She could cook and knit and care for others without a second thought. She was able to beat the pants off tons of people at card games. And above all, despite trauma and tragedy, she loved deeply. And though I really dont recall it, she loved ME deeply. All of those sweaters on that table? She knit them for me. Im in half of the photos on her photo boards, because she always wanted to be with me (and me with her). I was flattered by how many people said I look like her from her photos when she was in high school. And there is a gorgeous photo there of her with Doo-Da, my grandfather who passed in August of 1999. I adore that photo, that black and white relic of a dinner from their years together. My Grandmama lived a wonderful, full life, and Im proud to be her granddaughter. Im sad shes gone, and that she has kind of been gone since her debilitating stroke in 1988, but Im glad that we were as close as we were. She truly shaped my life, and I can see - and feel - that now.
Posted on: Sun, 11 Jan 2015 20:24:13 +0000
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