Greetings Readers! Welcome to the March 15th Pre Election Night Round up! The Times has been around for a little while now and in keeping with tradition we have decided to reveal to you our beloved Readers all of the Candidates up for vote in Saturdays State Elections. From the Beleaguered labor camp to the confident liberals. From the Anti-everything Green camp to the immature PUPPY camp and through to the Independents who are vying for a place in our future government, we want you to know who you are voting for and give you an early list of contenders and pretenders to decide upon which to place your valuable vote! So, without further ado let us begin with a somewhat comical look at! BASS Details: An electorate covering approx 7,378 sq km containing the city of Launceston and Flinders Island. History: Named after a Naval Surgeon, Dr George Bass (1771-1803) and an early settler and avid explorer. Worthy of note is that Bass Strait is also named after him. Labor Candidates: Adam Al Gore, Andrew Sinead O Connor, Free Brian Wightman, Michelle Ma Belle OByrne and Senka Ship with an Iceberg Mujkic Liberal Candidates: Barry Jarvis Walker, Leonie remove hair with McNair, Michael Fergy Tractor Ferguson, Peter Griffin Gutwein and Sarah Balls in your Courtney Greens Candidates: Amy Winehouse Tyler, Andrea Bocelli Dawkins, Anna Pavlova Povey, Anne Of Green Gables Layton-Bennet, Kim Phone a Friend Booth Palmer Candidates: Brian Norman Gunst, Chris Telescope Dobson, Mark Marcia Hines, Tim Church Parish Christians Candidates: Independent Candidates: Andrew Real Estate Roberts, Brett GeorgeLucas, Ray Hung on a Kroeze (Christians) ---------------------------------------------------- BRADDON Details: A rural electorate in the North West and West of Tasmania containing 20,826 sw km including the Cities of Burnie and Devonport and also King island. History: Named after a former Premier of Tasmania and Member of the House of Representatives, Sir Edward Braddon (1829-1904) Labor Candidates: Brenton For the Best, Bryan Id Forget my own name if itd help! Green, Daryll Bessell, Justine Turn Keay and Shane Broad Sword Liberal Candidates: Adam Battle of To Brooks, Jeremy Climbing a Rockliff, Joan Jumpship Rylah, Kyron Howell You all Doin? and Roger Ramjet Jaensch Green Candidates: Chris Babys done a bad bad thing Cornell, Melissa Lil house onthe Prairie Houghton, Paul Irish OHalloran, Philip Two first names Nicholas, Sally OWheel ( O wheally?) Palmer Candidates: Julian My Nose is Brown, Kevin Leakin n Squeakin Deakin, Kevin Cant run a farm Morgan, Scott Bugger all to do with me Alexander, Steven It isnt easy being Green National Candidates: Emmanuel Private Benjamin, Liz van der Linde Keep your hands off my sausage roll, Ken Dorsey Fin Independent Candidates: Kevin I see your Swarts is bigger than mine Swarts ---------------------------------------------------- DENISON Details: An Electorate which runs from Kingston to the South of the State to Hobart (East), Collinsvale in (West) and up to Austins Ferry in the North and is only about 289 sw km in total land area. The smallest of our Electorates but also one containing the Capital, Hobart and Glenorchy. History: Denison was named after the now deceased Lieutanant-Governor if Tasmania, Sir William Denison (1804-1871). Labor Candidates: Alphonse Mumbles Mulumba, Julian Tori Amos, Madeleine Orange Ogilvie, Scott Pigs will Fly Bacon, Sharon Film Festival Carnes Liberal Candidates: Deborah The Countess de Williams, Elise K Archer, Matthew Wife and Groom, Rene Kling, Robert Rubber Mallett Green Candidates: Alan Yikes! Whykes, Bill Harvey Norman, Cassy Sinead OConnor, Penelope Pitstop Ann, Philip Leave my Hat On Cocker Palmer Candidates: Barbara Try to Be B Etter, Charles Run Forrest Run, Justin Stringer Along, Mark Bit of a Rube Grube, Rob I Damn WEll Newitt National Candidates: Dominic An Republic Allocca, Julian Saltwater Edwards, Vlad The Impaler Gala Socialist Alliance Candidates: (USSR?) Shaine Comrade Stephen ---------------------------------------------------- FRANKLIN Details: This electorate covers approx 6,514 sq km and is located in the south of Tasmania. It also includes Bruny Island, Huonville and Franklin . History: Franklin was named aftr Sir John Franklin (1786-1847) who was Lieutenant-Governor of Tasmania between 1837 and 1843 Labor Candidates: David Bendit Like Beckham OByrne, Heather I got the Wrong Karaoke Chong, Julie Ophelia Dick, LaLa Giddings, Leaves Russell Mitchel Liberal Candidates: Jacquie Unleaded Petrusma, Nic On Every Street, Paul The Other One Harriss, Sue Bastone My Turkey!, Will Hodgey Hodgeman Green Candidates: Nick I am TARZAN protector of Mice! McKim, Richard Rowan Atkinson, Rosalie Timberbark Woodruff, Simon Says Burnett, Zoe Geez Im Very Kean Palmer Candidates: Con Dont Cry Over Spiliopoulos Milk, Debra Fell off the Breast Thurley, John Disa Peers, Luke Use the Force Rutherford, Michael I Dont Give A Figg National Candidates: Matt Hollowpoint Holloway, Myrtle Specialty Timber Wakeling, Penny Lane By the Beatles Socialist Alliance Candidates: (USSR?) Jenny Mata Hari Forward ---------------------------------------------------- LYONS Details: The largest electorate covering 32,910 sq km and is pretty much in the middle of it all. Towns include, Deloraine, St Helens, Sheffield, Longford and Campbell Town. History: This large Electorate was named after one Joseph (Premier of Tasmania) and Dame Enid Lyons (First woman to be appointed to the Federal Cabinet) Labor Candidates: Bob Flash Gordon, Darren Clark Rubber!, David Jones Llewellyn, Jessey Id paint your picture Dillon, Rebecca Black and White Liberal Candidates: John Bertrand Cadart, Guy Smiley Barnett, Mark Big Bang Shelton, Martyn Evans Almighty, Rene Gone into Hidding Greens Candidates: Glenn Millar, Hannah Montanna Rudenach, Pip Longstockings Brinklow, Stephanie Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy Palmer Candidates: Mark Grewar pair, Quentin The Red baron von Stieglitz, Wayne Shoofly Bridge National Candidates: Anne salt N Pepper, Brett Hall, Craig Im Walkin Alone Davey, Leo Sayer Perotti Independent Candidates: Murray Alf Stewart, Paul Let her rip Belcher So Readers as you can see, many serious contenders to choose from! Also a lot of pretenders. At the end of the day, when you vote all a decent person or magazine can ask is that you vote for the party that you believe will do the job for Tasmania. Vote with you head though and not just your heart. The heart tends to soften and pick choices because we feel sorry for those smaller parties. Remember though that Tasmania will continue to wither and die both culturally and economically if we do not vote in at least one of the Major two Parties, namely Liberal and Labor. These really are the only two at this stage with the size and backing and strength to move us forward into the next generation of Government in Tasmania. The Yellow palmers and the Greens just do not have the ability by themselves to produce the results and push through the things that we need to bring Tasmania back from the edge, Mining, Forestry, Aquaculture, Farming and Tourism. EVEN though you feel that the smaller parties would be a change, never forget these few points: If back 30 or so years ago we did actually dam the Franklin, we would not be paying through the nose for power here in Tasmania, our elderly and lower income families would not be struggling as much and we would be receiving much more income from selling power to the northern states of Australia. The Greens Agenda for the last 20 years has been to destroy the timber and mining industries in Tasmania which has also put 1000s directly out of jobs and tens of 1000s indirectly our or work because they are no longer need to support the industries that were closed down. Remember also that the Greens flew overseas (using Taxpayers Money) to protest and lie to our customers overseas thereby reducing our Global Export Strength. Dont be fooled by promises of Nick McKim in regards of getting a better Timber industry. Its hard for a person like him to help any industry he hasnt been a Cultural part of at all. Palmer have a lot of Slogans and Hollow Promises. None of which have any depth or substance to support them. There is no evidence at all that points to exactly how the policies will be fulfilled. Clive palmer got himself onto the Rail Board in Queensland to help himself to the cheap railways hes been campaigning for years to get anyway. He has also been lending money between his companies to pay debts without those loans being re-payed, which means a loss to the lending companies. His leases in PNG are also under doubt now the new Minister is in. But hell tell you hes doing alright! Kevin Morgan, the Palmer Premier elect couldnt allegedly run a farm with cows. How can we expect him to run a proud state like Tasmania filled with hard Working Tasmanians? We Cant he doesnt have the integrity or skills to do it even with Palmer behind him. Bryan Green in the Electorate of Braddon. He hasnt even lived amongst his supposed people for the last few years and has just recently changed his mailing address to Mount Stewart Road in Hobart where he has been living instead of amongst the proud people of Braddon. He has been under scrutiny twice and was not proven innocent in court either time as the jury was hung. He somehow FORGOT one of the most important items to tell the people at the Pro Industry Rally in Tullah, the fact that he approved the name The Tarkine Seems he appears to be one forgetful fellow as he seems to forget which woman allegedly supported him through all his turbulent years before allegedly turning his back on her for another younger model who may be out of a high profile job Saturday!. Is this the Integrity of a person that the people of Braddon want to represent them? These are the same people who seem to be threatened by Brenton Best who appears to have a knack for telling LaLa she should resign along with Green and who lives amongst the people he represents. Witnesses state that he has come through for them time and again and that he truly embodies the old Labor Values of for the people. The Socialist Alliance Partys newspaper is called the Green Left. This should indicate a little about them. Sounds Russian to us Comrades! Independents. Well these are pretty much WYSIWYG (What You See IS What You Get) . To this bunch of people we here at The Times say, Good Luck. And , if you do get in try not to let us down and please make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. The Labor party, there is so much we can say about them as a whole. The teamed up with the Anti-Everything greensand then bent over and let Bob and his cohorts ream them. The allowed a very minor party to rule the roost and almost succeed in destroying tens of thousands of Tasmanians jobs through the destruction of the Timber industry, and yes Mining was next and then Aquaculture and Farming. That is out of the mouth of the extremists themselves and was provided by some under cover Pro industry Stalwarts. Labor had K-Rudd, McClown Gillard, then K-Rudd again. They really couldnt decide which leader they wanted and stabbed a lot of their people in the back to get this skull duggery done. In the opinion of The Time there is only one Labor man worth voting fro and thats Brenton best. at least he has the balls to stand up to LaLa and Green and oppose their destruction of Tasmania and their apparent love of the recently departed bedfellows the Greens. Its also the one Labor man who in our opinion will be getting our vote Saturday! Once again Dear readers, whoever you vote for, please think carefully and weigh it up carefully. Your Votes will either Damn us all or Push us into a positive future where Tasmanian families can thrive and grow in the home state and our FIFO men and women can come home and spend more quality time with their partners and children. Because, Dear Readers, in the end YOU will be deciding not just our generations fate but the fate of generations to come in the future, our children. As Always Our Friends and Readers, TRUTH or Fiction? YOU Decide!
Posted on: Fri, 14 Mar 2014 13:35:55 +0000
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