Group Input Requested: My ExN is doing a very good job playing the victim and making everyone believe he is a saint. I dont trust anything he does. He asked me of he could take the kids for my Friday night in December to attend a Christmas party and I indicated that it sounded like it would be really late and he stated he could just keep them overnight. I indicated that I needed to check my calendar to see if there was anything going on and he got angry and snapped Fine, that sounds like no! I indicated again that I needed to see of there was any conflicts and I would let him know. He said whatever and hung up. I decided I should probably reply in writing and let him know I would honor his request and what time I would like them back on Saturday I them indicated that there was an additional day that I would like the kids to be with me (judge gave him 3 hours on the Fridays associated with my weekends) during his Friday afternoon time and then offered him additional time on his Wednesday as it is the day before Christmas and I would have them from late afternoon on Wednesday through the following Wednesday when he gets them for New Years. My written correspondence was cordial and professional. When I picked the kids up he was very defensive and argumentative informed me that I was not following the judges orders to be polite and respectful and I am treating the kids like possessions and he wanted no part of that and would not participate in this type of communication. I informed him that changes in custody should be in writing and he replied he had no problem with putting it in writing but he would not participate or sign a contract. I informed him that I did not ask him to sign anything or imply in any way that this was a contract, I was trying to maintain a business like relationship and my communication just outlined possible details of the change in custody. He informed me our relationship was not a business relationship and the children were not possessions. I informed him that his and my relationship with the girls was different but ours with each other was business like. He became angry and said I never want to be cooperative and work with him. After that he became agitated and said he was done and never mind he wont ask again. It turned out that there was a conflict I had forgot about that day anyhow so the kids would not be able to go to his party which I had told him before I got there which may have also played a part in his attitude. We have a review hearing on Monday and I am afraid he will twist this confrontation around and use it against me especially since the kids were there, they were in the car with the doors closed and we were talking not yelling but they were still there.
Posted on: Fri, 26 Sep 2014 21:59:06 +0000
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