Group Support and Input Needed: Hi, please post: I need post-mediation pixie dust and hugs. I went into our meeting yesterday with little, but not no, hope. I even wrote omb on my wrist. I believed that with the help of a mediator who is supposed to be the best and my attorney, that somehow we could get through some of the stuff. My point was that if we could set up some communication and decision making ground rules, then we could get through all of the other stuff. It seemed really doable and reasonable. I know - silly me. It was so much worse than I could have imagined - the blame and the lies and his refusal to budge on anything and then his twisting of everything and the mediator seemed to actually buy some of it. I felt like I was being physically beaten up. My attorney jumped in a few times, but even he was unaware of some of the bullshit that was coming out of my exs mouth so didnt always know to interfere. The mediator wouldnt let us argue which is probably a good policy, but I felt like my exN could say whatever he wanted and if I tried to defend myself, then I got in trouble for arguing. Basically nothing came of it except for my trauma and the promise of court. And a huge rude awakening. I thought that I understood who and what I was dealing with and that I understood fear. But I knew nothing. I feel like I was stripped of all innocence yesterday and have now been faced with the harsh reality of true cruelty. His venom and insanity is so much greater than I ever realized and my fear and vulnerability is paralyzing. It feels like 18 years of abuse from this man was replayed in 4 hours in a small room all over again. And this morning I have to go to a wrestling meet for the kids where he will surely be. Thank you for letting me vent. I am just so raw and hopeless today.
Posted on: Sat, 25 Jan 2014 13:02:11 +0000
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