HA HA HA really ha ha ha Accessbook An 80-year old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, George, everything looks great.How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God? George replies, God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so hes fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When Im done, poof! The light goes off. Wow, thats incredible, the doctor says. A little later in the day, after thinking at length over Georges extraordinary explanation, the doctor calls Georges wife. Ethel, he says, George is doing fine! But I had to call you because Im in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! The light goes on in the bathroom, and when hes done, poof! The light goes off? Oh my God! Ethel exclaims. Hes pissing in the fridge again. __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that. __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come. __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? Its a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ Its funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. Its like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered. __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives ! __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ A man, who surrenders when hes wrong, is Honest. A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if hes Right, is a Husband. __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, hell fall asleep before you finish. __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ Theres a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. Its called marriage __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ Aadmi shaadi kyon karta hai? Take vo Marne ke baad agar Swarg jaye to achcha feel kare aur agar Nark jaye to homely feel kare.. __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ? To tell each other affectionately. .. Sweetheart U R Dead! __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ Different Phases of a man: After engagement: Superman After Marriage: Gentlema? After 10 years: Watchman After 20 years: Doberman __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Dont take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
Posted on: Tue, 11 Mar 2014 06:37:13 +0000
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