Ha! David Troy Lecher Too funny: These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much youve been drinking Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA) A: AFRICA is the big triangle shaped continent south of EUROPE...AUSTRALIA is that big island in the middle of the PACIFIC OCEAN which does not - Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? ( USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and well send the rest of the directions. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys Choir schedule? (USA) A: AUSTRIA is that quaint little country bordering GERMANY, which is - Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum.(USA) A: Rattlesnakes live in AMERICA which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. Its a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA) A: Its called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA) A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Posted on: Sun, 31 Aug 2014 16:45:27 +0000
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