Ha-Ha: You can piss off just about everyone just about anytime. Id just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn & a jumbo sausage. A poor, homeless man sat there and said “Ive not eaten for two days.” I told him, “I wish I had your will power.” A fat girl served me in McDonalds at lunchtime. She said sorry about the wait. I said, “Dont worry, youll find a way to lose it eventually.” I walked past a bum sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said “Any Change?” I said, “Nope, youre still a bum.” Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, Ive found that a bacon sandwich works best! Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed. I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself. Im going to take that. Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Iowa. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him, “Where am I?” The farmer looks back up and shouts back. “Youre in a basket you big dummy!” Ive learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
Posted on: Sat, 02 Nov 2013 11:50:19 +0000
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