Hal Hartleys TRUST is Probably One of The Best Movies Ever Made by It Reminds Me of Martyrs, Amour, Eye of God, Reservoir Dogs, The Music of Thomas D Mahoney (my best male friend besides myself, survivor) and the Movie Fight Club had some time to kill yesterday before i went to do my background check with the data migration technician for the Red Cross. hed probably testify that im a pretty sweet, intelligent, polite young man with a very healthy sense of intellectual curiosity. unlike all the people who keep telling me im STUPID for wanting to do the right thing. or the people who cut me out of their lives because i was BEGGING them for HELP when my parents were physically and emotionally battering me because my mom had a false cancer scare at Maine Medical Center and neither my parents or the hospital are going to shoulder any of the responsibility for the damage they have done to my life. because i nursed my mother through that time period. and when she was experiencing trauma she focused all her attention on me so she didnt have to deal with her own issues because she hates men telling her what to do. when i rejected her advice took her advice and got the same advice again and so on she stopped talking and had her husband BULLY me relentlessly and tell me that i had no right to an opinion because the fate is always right. i was telling him his wife is sick in the head because she just spent several months thinking she was going to die and should not be dishing out unwanted advice and he would tell me that i had no right to an opinion. she was doing whatever she could to ignore all advice on how to take care of her increasingly diseased body (based on factual photographic evidence) and rushing to get back to school so she could teach children when she was obviously not in the state of mind to help them. she wanted to USE them to make her feel okay about hating men because she was abused all her life and married a man who beat her, divorced him and then married a man who i do not know how to define on the Kinsey scale. i now he did things i am supposedly not allowed to say when i was a child and my mother will not believe them because believing them would make her feel bad and shes rather i die that admit she messed up when i gave her at least a hundred opportunities to listen to what i was saying and had her admit that what she was doing to me made no sense time and time again. if you think a person like that should be teaching children to be independent thats your choice. but if you look at the events of my life over the past two and a half years you will see the evidence is that she does not care if her own children are independent. my brother Chris had to learn how to straighten out his life in the Nave. and when i tried to insist to my mother that i was not going to be gay (or interested in a love/physically intimate relationship with a man...netiquette) and needed to to learn how to take care of myself when they eventually passed on she had her husband try to make me kill myself by doing crazy things for years and years like doing my taxes without permission and making me take my own stuff out of his house at specific times under the threat that he was going to leave it out in the streets and taking my car away because his name was on the lease and physically lunging at me and turning the computer off when i was saying that he was scaring me and typing it onto Facebook at the exact time he was doing it and having to TELL him to stand a few feet away from me in public at places like Catholic Charities, and the Goodwill locations in Windham and Forest Ave and be publicly degraded to the point that i have to explain to my own father that i do not like the feeling of men being near me after being threatened with rape and murder on numerous occasions and him telling me to shut up because hearing about bad things happening to me makes him feel bad and he doesnt like to feel bad or argue with people who make sense and speak in plain English. ANYWAY, when i went to Pauls i used a food voucher to help me eat well and make a beautiful picture that honors many different cultures and women in general. Pauls does not have a selection like Hannaford. i could get more of the stuff i like easier there. but i always try to do the right thing. and since i knew i could get good stuff at a local grocer it made sense to me to do that and hope that more small grocers like Pauls will pop up and promote healthy living more. i also corrected a few mistakes when i was at Pauls because they did not have the hot stuffed cherry peppers with provolone labelled and there was no tag on the shelf labeling the coconut milk. so i waited in line and kept all the numbers of what i was buying in my head so i could get the best selection of food possible for as close to 33 dollars as i could and i did a bang up job. There was a little bit of change leftover and that does not even exist because nobody gets it. ~the unbelievable TRUTH
Posted on: Sun, 06 Oct 2013 21:22:53 +0000