Here are some stories making headline news across Nigeria this week. 1. Stop killing Christians, Oritsejafor tells Boko Haram. Yes, pastor, Boko Haram members answered in unison. They looked at each other and said, “He counts himself as a Christian? If he is, then, we are Christians, too. Hahahahaha.” 2. Why Nigeria records mass failure in English, Maths by Education Minister, Shekarau. My guess! Because of bad teachers…they are everywhere. Just so you know, Dame Patience Jonathan and Dr. Goodluck Jonathan used to be teachers. Now, imagine the children they taught. 3. US frustrating Nigeria’s war against Boko Haram – FG. Today it’s USA. Tomorrow, South Africa, Rwanda, Chad, APC… Saharareporters. How come everyone is frustrating this war except the people managing it? 4. We saved $191.6bn from sugar importation –FG. We saved this. We saved that. Billions here, billions there. Now, whyre we borrowing $1bn to buy arms? 5. Helicopters evacuated CDS Badeh’s family from Mubi. Now I believe. There is hope for Nigeria. Ok, the military came out to deny it. They said Badeh’s family was evacuated with armored vehicles. That sounds better. 6. Youre the first president to lose a part of Nigeria, Atiku tell Jonathan. But I thought we lost Abuja to the rich long time ago. 7. So Chadian president fooled Nigeria on phantom Boko Haram ceasefire. How about we make Chad our 37th state? Well, never mind. Forget that I even said it. With what army? 8. Boko Haram has declared war on Nigeria — David Mark. No way! So David Mark has finally noticed it? Our problem is solved. You just watch. On your mark, set, go… 9. Stop calling Jonathan an idiot – Doyin Okupe. Eayeah! That’s terrible. I didnt know thats what they call him. Come, what do they call you, Okupe? Idi what? 10. Senators against governors coming to Senate are greedy — Gov. Aliyu. I don’t usually agree with Gov. Aliyu, but on this one, I agree. The senate should be reserved as a graveyard for ex-governors. They go there and chill until we forget that they stole our money and death forgets about them. 11. Why Comedian Julius Agwu withdrew from 2015 governorship race. Here is my guess. Its just a guess. He finally took his Prozac medication. youtu.be/6HAJLd70nao?list=UUKnyVIW5QvfnsXddsjFKx4A
Posted on: Mon, 17 Nov 2014 20:16:22 +0000
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