Here are ten more things about me you might not know (that are all untrue): 1. At the age of ten I stenciled, printed, and distributed my first chapbook of poetry. I got in a lot of trouble at school over it because twelve of the thirty poems therein were verbatim reproductions of Bob Dylan songs, despite my never having been exposed to his music or writing at the time. 2. Ive made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs. Twice. 3. I once accidentally transcribed Tolstoys War and Peace in Mandarin by dropping a pen on an Applebees credit card slip over and over again on an exceptionally chilly winter day. 4. I can read and write Klingon but I cannot speak it. 5. When I was younger (around five or six, I believe) I was in a terrible playground accident and had most of my vital organs replaced with Gen1 Transformers Toys. My heart is actually a Megatron in gun form. 6. I am addicted to Cheesecake. 7. I have a secret family in Mobile, Alabama. The irony is that Im the breadwinner in that family and were exceptionally well-off. To be fair, though, our nearest neighbors are meerkats, so it probably makes us look wealthier than we are. 8. I am deathly allergic to moon rocks. 9. I am the voice actor for every character on Cartoon Networks Total Drama Island. 10. Behind closed doors I lead a terrifically healthy lifestyle. Every day I eat a gluten-free, raw 1200 calories, get 90 minutes of rigorous exercise, sleep for fourteen minutes of every hour, run, cycle, knit, rinse, simmer, percolate, exfoliate, incubate, incinerate, inebriate, and meditate at least 7 hours a day (98 minutes of which I slip completely into an unconscious state). Im probably going to live forever. Like this status and Ill laugh with you.
Posted on: Tue, 19 Nov 2013 05:38:23 +0000
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