Here is Barrys amazing Eulogy for those who werent fortunate enough to be there! Bear with me people, I’m gonna try to get through this, but there’s a chance it could get ugly. I was told I only have 5 minutes and I’ll try to keep it brief but to euligize this beautiful woman, with an 87 year proven track record of nothing but good deeds and special qualities, I have to say that the length of this talk may end up rivaling a good Fr. Duke homily. For a 4 foot 11 inch woman, who didn’t drive, and who lived in the last house on the dead end of one of the smallest streets in the city, she sure spread her wings far and wide and had a positive impact on so many. I want to start by taking this opportunity on behalf of the entire Goodwin family to thank everyone for all of the kindness, prayers, support, friendship and love that you have shown Dorothy and our entire family, not only during this difficult time, but throughout the years. We want to thank John Murphy and his staff for their efforts during the last few days, and thanks to Corey for the beautiful music today, and to the altar staff serving today. Special recognition to Sister Pauline, who provided much comfort to Dorothy during her most trying times. Very speciaI thanks also to these fine gentleman who are helping us celebrate Dorothy’s life today (Monsignor David Lee, Fr. Duke Zajac and Deacon Tom Forcucci). These are not only gifted clergymen, but lifelong family friends, who constantly answer the call without hesitation, often in our greatest times of need. Dorothy loved her neighborhood and she especially loved this parish. Some of you are old enough to remember life before e-mail, texts, Facebook and Twitter when there was actually a form of communication called “letter writing”. When I was away at college, I can’t tell you how much it made my day when I received a letter from my mother. In those letters she would update me on the things that she loved most, her family and her friends. There was always a joke or two included and even possibly a couple of bucks. She would often close these letters with her advice or “Dorothyisms”. These would include such life lessons as “to have a friend you have to be a friend”, “make new friends but keep the old”, “bloom where you are planted” and the one I was too stupid to pay attention to, “Don’t put all your money over the bar”. Humor, Friendship and Family, three themes in those letters that defined her life. “Put a little humor in it”. I’ve heard her give that advice to many in the past including hers son’s who had to give a speech or work presentation, her grandkids preparing school projects and I know she’d be disappointed in me if I didn’t do it today. She loved to make people laugh. She knew that was her calling, and she was very good at it. Even in a nursing home setting, where everyone could use a good laugh, it was not uncommon for visitors and staff to walk into her room, and be startled to see a fake arm or a fake foot sticking out from underneath her bed, or a fake spilled cup of coffee on the floor. Thankfully, my much wiser brothers overruled me, when I suggested having the fake arm sticking out of the casket today. I have to believe that hers was the only room in the place that had a stack of 10 joke books on the end table. Almost every drawer had some sort of printout of jokes, cartoons, funny pictures, funny sayings, etc. Dorothy was way ahead of her time, as for many years, long before the internet and the practice of forwarding jokes by e-mail with a simple click of a button, she would take these joke printouts and walk down South Park Ave. until she could find a business where she could use her charm to have them make free copies for her, so she could personally deliver or mail them to her friends and family. Her stroke occurred the evening before she had a lunch scheduled with her friends to celebrate her birthday and thankfully, the next day, her friends recognized that something was wrong and got her to the doctor. When I got there, I said, “Ma, why didn’t you let us know last night?”. And of course she put a little humor in it, with her reply, “I didn’t want to pass up a free lunch!”. On a difficult first day of her new life in an assisted-living facility, she was asked to sign a waiver, so that they could use her picture in their monthly newsletters. She hesitated, staring at the administrator, only to finally say, “I’ll sign it as long as you guarantee that all my pictures will be on the front page!”. Those who knew her well, are very aware of her favorite day of the year, April Fools Day. There are so many funny stories to tell and those of us who have been her victims, know what I’m talking about. As kids, we would wake up to water in the milk carton, a bottomless spoon in the sugar bowl or a supposedly hard boiled egg that was really raw. We’d end the day with our pajama legs sewn together. Her neighbors can attest to waking up to “For Sale” signs on their front lawns or “Just Married” signs on their cars. Her co-workers can attest to messages on their desks to return a call to a Mr. Lyon, only to find out, after humiliation, that the phone number she left was that of the Buffalo Zoo. We’ve opened mail on that day with fear as somehow she was able to get stationery from such places as the IRS or the Erie County Sheriff’s Department. Many have been excited to open an envelope with an invitation to a Surprise Party, only to open it to see that there was no location or occasion for the party listed. My father, who with more than 50 years with his pranking wife was obviously not a big fan of the holiday. There was an instance when my Dad came to pick her up at work on April 1st and actually got a flat tire. When my mother went back inside to call someone to come help, all of us refused to believe her, and we left them stranded. Dad was not happy. Even on her very last April 1st, I asked her “how was your day?”. She said “it was my best April Fools Day ever, I sat near the elevator all day and told everyone who walked by that they had a hole in their pants”. Now I have to admit that I don’t think it was her best or most cunning work, however, for those of you who have ever walked off an elevator in a nursing home only to see the hallway lined with wheel chairs and suffering patients, I guarantee that the visitors that exited that elevator that day, had no expectation that their first reaction would be one of laughter. To be “fooled” into laughter by Dorothy, that prank was “pure genius”. When it came to friendships, Dorothy certainly practiced what she preached. She was always there for people and had so many friends from all walks of life and for all lengths of time, some friendships that were approaching 80 years. She had a particular gift for giving special attention to people who needed help, or needed a friend the most. A truly generous spirit, making home visits, caring for the poor and sick, delivering food, gifts, companionship and humor to many. Something as simple as collecting cans and bottles at family parties so she could deliver them to a friend who could use a little extra help. Working on bigger issues with the St. Ambrose Social Action committee, fighting the good fights, all for the good of others, leaving her peace prints along the way. She never needed or wanted recognition for her good deeds. Those of you who call her friend know what made her a good one, whether it be being there for you in times of need, being there to celebrate with you, being a good listener, being a mother figure, being honest with you without being judgmental, and just plain being good company and fun to be around. The Wizard of Oz was her favorite movie as you may have figured out by seeing her in person, or in pictures, as an 80 something year old woman dressed up like Dorothy from Kansas, right down to the red ruby slippers. In addition to the obvious connection of sharing the same name, both Dorothy’s started a long journey, picking up many friends along the way, some with special needs, fighting evil and injustice along the road. Dorothy Gale’s journey ended at the gates of Oz, while Dorothy Goodwin’s ended at the gates of heaven. Both Dorothy’s finally found there way home and I can hear our Dorothy saying today, “There’s no place like home”. She set a high bar for us by demonstrating what it takes to be a good spouse, parent, grandparent, in-law, sibling and aunt. She always put her family’s needs ahead of her own. For my cousins here today, she loved you and your children as much as she loved your parents. For her daughters-in-law, she welcomed you and treated you all as her own. To my brothers, man, we had a great mother. Under difficult circumstances and financial hardships, both her and Dad must have made incredible sacrifices that ensured that we had such a good life. We went to private high schools, played in the Little Leagues, joined the Boy Scouts, had nice Christmas’, made the trips to Crystal Beach and had those great weeks in Alleghany State Park. Ma made everything special, and joining her on those bus adventures Downtown, whether it be to the Aud for wrestling matches, to the library, or to see the A,M&As windows and Santa Claus, those times were pure joy. I’m sure being the only female in a house with five males was not easy, but somehow she perfected timing those great Sunday dinners with halftime of the Bills games. As we grew up, I couldn’t even begin to capture, how she continued to love and support us and go above and beyond for our new families. I know when I needed Ma the most, when Mary was sick and we had 3 kids less than 6 years old, she was right there for us. My only problem was that on the days that I left my kids at her house, they loved it so much, they didn’t want to come back home! Which brings me to what might be her greatest talent of all, being a Grandmother. Pure unconditional love between her and her precious 11, coupled with uncontrolled fun, laughter and craziness. Many memories, whether it be the adventures to Recckio’s , Wilson Farms or Burger King, often through her shortcuts through stranger’s back yards, or the nutty games like spoons and double solitaire, and grandma pitching wiffle ball, the unlimited supply of Play-Dough, the fake Valentine cards, or all the crazy foods like baloney faces, Huggies, and cake for breakfast. And I have to ask the pall bearers, how is it that your grandmother would give you a paint brush and a bucket of water and you would spend hours and hours pretending to paint her shed, but if your fathers gave you a paint brush and real bucket of paint now, we probably couldn’t get more than 15 minutes out of you, before you were ready to call it a day. When her last 3 grandchildren came along, the new era of Gi-Gi began, and the bubbles, the sidewalk chalk and riding bikes in the basement were resurrected. To quote Dan, “I learned that it’s quite possible and quite beautiful for a nutty senior citizen to be a 2 year old’s best friend”. 10 of the 11 are here today to say goodbye to their beloved G-Ma. My son Dave couldn’t make it, as he is currently doing a college semester in Ireland. This weekend, he visited one of the most beautiful places there, the Cliffs of Moher, and sent us a picture of the cliffs with a single ray of light shining down from the heavens. He believes it was his grandma in his presence, knowing that he could not be here in Buffalo. Dorothy loved spending her birthdays at the Erie Basin Marina, enjoying the water, some good food and her precious family. It wasn’t easy, but somehow we were able to pull that off one last time, just a couple of months ago, by turning a We Care Transportation wheelchair vehicle into a “party bus”. To see her there that day, allowing us to celebrate this tradition with her one last time, was something that we all will cherish forever. I’ve heard my mother tell the story several times that when her sister Mary Barry got her a job at the office where Mary had already worked for a long time that she was referred to, not as Dorothy Goodwin, but as Mary Barry’s sister. I’ve heard her broaden that to say that at school functions she was referred to not as Dorothy Goodwin, but as Billy or Bobby Goodwin’s mother. That second billing never upset her and she was perfectly comfortable with it. I just want to say today however, that no one deserved top billing more than her and I want the world to know how proud, and thankful, and truly blessed I am, to be able to say, “I am Dorothy Goodwin’s son”.
Posted on: Thu, 25 Sep 2014 03:05:05 +0000
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