Hes growing too fast!! Its Been almost 6 months since then :( One year ago today I was given the best gift I have ever received. I became a mother to Jameson David Morris. I have never felt more love and hope than I did in the moment I first heard him cry. From the first time I kissed him and held him in my arms I knew that my life could never be more perfect than it was in that moment. I stared at his little arms and hands, and kissed his tiny legs and toes. It was so strange to me that these small limbs were the things kicking my ribs and punching my kidneys just the day before. I laid there holding all 7LBS 9oz of my son and decided that I would never let him go. That day I began to believe in love at first site, because that is what it was. I didnt know it was possible, but everyday since has been better than the last. I never knew that one person could fill someone up so completely. This past year has been difficult, and there are some days when I thought I wasnt cut out for this. But then you would smile, or you would laugh. All my doubts would melt away when you would stop crying and look into my eyes. With each one of those looks I knew that to you there was no one more beautiful or more perfect than your mother. You look at me in the same way I look at you everyday. In the same way I still look at my own mother. As the year went by, everything became easier. You began sitting up on your own, and then soon after you were speed crawling around the house. I would watch you as you began pulling yourself onto all of the furniture and investigating every cabinet and corner. I watched as your peach fuzz turned into curly hair on top of your head. I watched as each one of your teeth began to sprout from your gums. I sat watching in amazement as you hit every little milestone every baby hits in their first year of life. It was incredible to me to see how fast you learned, to see how MUCH you learned each day. I marveled at the way you sat completely still as I read you book after book, absorbing every word and every picture. I realized the other day, that even though you have learned so much this year, I have learned more. I learned everything from you. I learned patience and strength. I learned compassion and empathy. I learned to find joy in the tiniest of moments, and how to keep that joy through the tougher times of the day. I learned all of this because I got to know you. My son. Some days I feel psychic in all things Jameson. I know when you are hungry, I can feel when you are exhausted and frustrated. I know what to do when you need to smile, and I know what to do when you need to calm down. I know your favorite song, your favorite book, and your favorite stuffed toy. But Im sure that you still know me better. You are the only one who has heard my heartbeat from the inside. To you we are still one person, one body, and one soul. Its hard not to cry writing this, and thinking of every moment of the past year. Its impossible not to feel overwhelming gratitude for each day. This year has been a year of complete happiness and contentment. As Im writing this Im trying to remember any anger, sadness or frustration I must have felt during the past year. There must have been some right? I know there was… but it seems like the love I share with you has erased all of it from my memory. All of the negativity and struggles from the past year are gone, and all thats left is warmth and love of a mother and son. So heres to you my sweet bug. You are the boy who made me truly, and unbreakably fall in love. Heres to the most perfect 365 days of my life and to a lifetime of more years just like this one. Heres to a lifetime more of hugs, kisses, laughter, and love. Heres to what you have taught me, and everything else I havent learned yet. Heres to a lifetime more of singing you to sleep, and telling you the same thing every night. Because through whatever struggles life will through at me, in those last moments of the day, with you, my life is undeniably perfect. So I will kiss you on the forehead and always say, I am thankful you are happy. I am thankful you are healthy. I am thankful you are smart, strong, beautiful and kind. I am thankful for your smile, and Im thankful for your hugs. But most of all I am thankful that you can feel, everyday, how much I love you. Happy birthday Jameson, my son, my sweet little bug. I love you more than I can ever say.
Posted on: Sat, 20 Sep 2014 04:44:20 +0000
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