Hijab and Marriage The believing woman doesnt need the creation on earth to validate her beauty, when her Lord already affirmed this for her in the heavens. While the devils on earth are still not convinced of this, so they plot and plan against her in the day and in the night to expose it. But her Lord is already convinced of it (her beauty), so calls her to preserve it. And this is better for her. Im gna start a long rant on here lol...but its a serious issue Ive, and Im sure others, have observed and experienced for themselves. I find it very strange to see those who would never dream of displaying themselves, but as soon as they hit a marital age, something changes internally. The weakening of principles and new tendencies towards tabbaruj (displaying of beauty) for purpose of (and putting this bluntly) self-gratification and attracting the right people - whether we admit this for ourselves or not...let’s be real. Brothers and sisters, who would never display their own images, have now succumbed to this culture. I ve spoken to sisters who, when asked about the reasoning behind refraining or no longer covering despite openly affirming its obligation, I get a defeatist response, encompassed with fear - the fear of failing and losing out in acquiring a portion of this world. A deep sigh followed by excuses - no man will marry me and no employer will take me... And my heart grieves every time I hear this or see sisters averse towards hijab for these reasons, and not just the apparent hijab, but letting their inward barrier down which would otherwise shelter them from things which would harm their eman and connection with their Lord. And there are those on the other side of the spectrum who suddenly start to outwardly display their religiosity as soon as they hit an age, not for a legitimate Share intentions it seems/sounds, but the opposite - to *attract* the right people. When I started wearing the abayah/niqab, a lot of people (both the old and the young) assumed I was married, or at least looking to get married as if this was my motive for covering...?! And it seems this mindset isnt just working on an individual level, but this culture is being fed from an early age in our homes. I was recently told that in some parts of South East Asia (without baiting) its apparently an accepted norm to just stare at peoples faces!? Ive experienced this and others may relate...its strange and uncomfortable. And some mothers and fathers take advantage of this culture of searching where as soon as their daughters/sons reach a marital age - they start to encourage their mature children to display their adornments in functions or gatherings of women, and sometimes of both, to increase their potential of finding the right family/spouse, and to an extreme, discouraging their children from wearing the hijab or growing their beards because they feel they need to look a certain way to increase their likelihood of getting married. Why are we being fazed by the weak morals of those around us, when Allah has already given us that which will give us strength and certainty... Why as parents, are you jeopardising your childs akhirah, for some worldly attainment - a career, a wife/husband for your offspring, all of which are affecting your childs psychology, their self esteem and development. All these means are an indication of our poor reliances, not in our Lord and His timing, but in ourselves and our abilities. Losing respect from others is not the greatest issue we should be concerned with, but its losing respect for *ourselves*. And for what...to attain the provisions of this world, which have already been Decreed by the same Lord who commands us to safeguard ourselves in all times and places, in secret and in open, both in the virtual and the real world - all for the benefit of safeguarding our akhirah. My heart sinks when I see/hear single Muslims resorting to desperate measures. Stay principled. Keep your guard up. And be happy with your condition, but make changes to be happier in your Next life while you wait. True eternal happiness is found only by affirming and acting on our purpose, and our purpose is in His worship. So to increase in feelings of happiness in this world is to increase in our ibaadah. Simples. So if any of you finds her/himself desiring a thing, then wait a little - not because there is some harm in attaining that thing, but its ultimately to discipline the ego and not accustom it to getting what it desires quickly.
Posted on: Tue, 09 Dec 2014 15:17:22 +0000
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