How to Develop Communication Skills: Step 1 Take Responsibility for Your Own Anger There really are ways to learn how to develop communication skills and some of the rules for effective communication are obvious. For example, in order for a young child to learn to talk, he or she must be able to listen and speak. The little boy or girl must acquire a minimal amount of emotonal control. It’s really difficult for them to listen if they are thrashing about on the floor in a rage. It really doesn’t get much more simple than that. So step number 1 for how to develop communication skills is: you must learn how to manage anger because your uncontrolled anger destroys listening (which, in turn, destroys communication). Now, consider a couple having a conflict that is getting them nowhere fast. He doesn’t feel like he is really hearing what she is saying. She feels misunderstood. They are both beginning to boil with anger. They each speak louder and louder to try to slam their own point home. They both get more and more defensive with each increase of the volume. Listening crashes and burns. Misunderstandings come out in droves like bats exiting a cave en masse after sundown. The growing tension and anger spawns an irratioinal, frenzied thought process that pretty much nails the coffin shut on any hope of productive communication. That point you thought you made so well and so “passionately” turns out to be misunderstood as an insult that is not easily forgotten. How does a couple make sense of all this the next day? Step Number One.
Posted on: Sat, 06 Jul 2013 01:54:43 +0000
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