How to Stop Taking Things Personally: Does someone elses bullying personality make you feel worthless? Do you mistake peoples antics for subtle insults? This article will highlight some ways to remain unaffected by how others treat you, whether its a weird look, a teasing remark or direct criticism. 1. Give the benefit of doubt. If you have a habit of taking things personally, it means that youre apt to assume someone is directing some form of aggression towards you when they could be just joking around or having a bad day. It might be your instinct to react emotionally, but pause for a second. Maybe its not about you. Learn how to control your emotions. Dont jump to conclusions. 2. Refocus your attention. When you take things personally, you shift your attention from what someone said or did to how you feel. Unless you move on from that point, its likely that youll ruminate on the negative feeling and amplify it. Instead, focus on the other person. * Look at how the person treats others. They might tease or insult everyone they meet. Some people are just antagonistic like that. *Consider the persons insecurities. Could they feel threatened by you in some way? If so, dont feel bad for being your awesome self. Think about how you can help this person feel better about themselves. * Keep in mind that the other person may have poor communication and emotional management skills. Imagine that theres an inner child acting out, because the person hasnt learned how to deal with things in a mature way. Its much easier to be patient and feel compassionate when you visualize a learning child at the helm of their behavior. 3. Remind yourself that you dont need anyones approval. If youre especially sensitive to how people treat you and you often overreact, you might have a strong radar for rejection. You worry that youre doing something wrong if you pick up on any kind of displeasure, and you want to fix it. But just because someone isnt happy with you doesnt mean youve done something wrong. In many cases, it means that person isnt happy with themselves and expects you to fill in the blanks (which is impossible). 4. Speak up. Let the person know how you are feeling. They might not realize how hurtful or aggressive they seem and how it is affecting you. Use I statements. If this is recurring, use nonviolent communication to try to end it and resolve any underlying issues. 5. Stop taking compliments personally, too. If you base your self-worth on how often people compliment and validate you, then youre allowing others to decide how you feel about yourself. If someone compliments you, its no more personal than a direct insult. Theyre simply calling it how they see it, and that may or may not be accurate--only you can be the judge of that. If someone compliments you, that doesn’t make you a better person, it makes them a better person because theyre taking the time to be supportive and encouraging. Your value remains unchanged, because its something that comes from within. -Wikihow
Posted on: Mon, 21 Oct 2013 10:33:53 +0000
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