How we teach our children There are three types of communication we can absorb, both consciously and subconsciously. These three aspects combine with one another to teach each of us our own personal truths and understandings of the world. There is explicit communication. That is what is said. There is implicit communication. That is how what is said is said. There is null communication. That is what is said by saying nothing. Each is important in its own right, but being aware of the three and how they act together is mandatory in communication about self-image to everyone, children especially. Think of this phrase: ”You are beautiful.” A young girl is getting ready for her first school dance. A father tells her she is beautiful. Does he say it in passing? Does he say it mockingly? Does he say it while looking at her dress? Does he say it while touching her cheek? Does he say it while twirling her around in a playful dance? Had she been worried about her hair? Is she used to hearing her mother fret about her own appearance when going out for the night? Does she hear praises about herself when she hasn’t gotten dolled up for an event? Does she hear praises about herself for things other than her appearance, like when she show prowess at a sport? Telling a child she is beautiful is important. Telling her why she is beautiful to you may be more important. Think of the phrase: “You are handsome.” A boy is learning to dress himself. A mother tells him he is handsome. Does she say it in passing? Does she say it with a joking tone, eyeing the clash of his pants with his backwards shirt? Does she say it while adjusting the collar of his shirt and licking her fingers to press down the cowlick of his hair? Is he used to hearing her compliment other men? Is he used to seeing his father take pride in himself? Does he hear praises about his appearance both rolling out of bed and after a refreshing bath? Is he also told he is a good problem solver for his solution to so few clean clothes in his drawers, hence the clash? Telling a child he is handsome is important. Telling him why he is handsome to you may be more important. Telling them they are worthy of your love and attention every day is mandatory. ~B (Cross-posted from stuffofstars.org)
Posted on: Thu, 01 Aug 2013 15:26:27 +0000
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