I am alone, yes I have Iris but I have no one to hold me if I break down. Sean is gone to the national guard till the 23rd. I miss my Damian so bad. Yes I believe in what I believe but it doesnt put him in my arms right now. I have waited so long.... I need him. Im sick of dreaming about him only to wake up an discover it was just a dream. I love seeing him in my dreams but it would be nice to see him smiling at me while I am awake. One day I am gonna have a serious break down... This reality is killing me day by day. I dont know how much longer I can contain this numbness. Every time Sage kicks I feel better... Hes special, I know it in my heart. Yesterday, my Dad saw me and said are you okay? I didnt make eye contact and kept walking away, I will never speak to my dad or his wife an children again. How dare they blame me for my sons death. I dont care if it was out of anger, that was the lowest thing they could have done. I dont deserve that. I am so happy I have family an friends that dont try to rip my heart out an burn it right in front of me. I will only surround myself with positive people. I will no longer let evil near me or my family. Never. My son Sage will know what unconditional love is... he will never take pleasure in hurting anyone or anything. He will be fueled by Love because thats all he will know... Peace, Love & Harmony. I will never bash his beliefs an I will stand by his side no matter what. My son will be fearless an aware, awakened and a free spirit. Soon I will have him in my arms. Sean Randall ,Sage and I will live in peace. Pure happiness. Thank you everyone that has been there for me.. everyone that has been real & stuck by my side. I love you guys an you have beautiful souls
Posted on: Fri, 08 Aug 2014 18:32:45 +0000
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