I am really tired of seeing threads on parenting pages that go something like this... My husband doesnt get my needs, the baby needs me, and we but he doesnt get it. Hes busy with work, and hes just not that great around the baby, and he seems to resent the baby And then the comments come that are along these lines: Men are selfish, women are more nurturing and men just dont get it The comments are either that blunt, or will subtly reinforce the idea, that alongside the gender male, or with a penis, comes an incompetence to parent. It also comes with the assumption that it is biologically driven to parent well if you are a female. I am in a group, a private group, and we had a thread recently bemoaning our lack of partner involvement. No gendered slurs were cast, it was just a vent about different views and roles within the house. One of the male members, a stay at home father commented that ALL the comments beforehand could have been him. He has been the SAHP for his children, and his wife hasnt looked after the children alone at all really. It struck me, not that it hasnt before, but this parenting thing, this roles this, is about ROLES, not genitals or gender choice. We need to stop assuming that men cannot be equally good parents. We need to stop forcing the mantle of incompetence on them by virtue of their gender. We need to realise that its down to ROLES and little more. We need to stop crapping on male parents and start realising thats essentialism gone mad. E.
Posted on: Mon, 21 Oct 2013 20:27:59 +0000
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