I am so very very sorry to have to tell you that my beautiful precious unique and irreplaceable Herbie went to his final sleep at 4.30 yesterday afternoon. His cancer had spread to his shoulder bone and was so advanced it had started to eat through it. The CT scan showed he had no cancer anywhere else just in the shoulder bone. The vet told me that this was rare not to have spread anywhere else but go straight to another bone. God I miss him so much, I adored him totally. He was loopy and crazy and had his funny quirks all of which I loved, he was just such a happy dog who LOVED life and LOVED people and every creature. He was so gentle and birds used to come down in the garden and peck around him , squirrels used to run-around his feet, they all sensed he would do them no harm. He just gave off that aura. What is also so shocking is the suddeness of it all. He was only showing pain for three days. Only last weekend he was gaily hopping about and enjoyed lounging in the sun, he didnt show any pain then although he must have been feeling it. He was obviously being so very brave. I am just so glad that we had that wonderful holiday with him, it was only a couple of weeks ago and again you would never have foreseen that this was about to happen. He was a real monkey who enjoyed giving me the runaround, but what lovely memories we have of that time. Yesterday we all cried so much, we all mourned him dreadfully but we did sit and talk about all the funny times he gave us and God he was a comedy genius even though he didnt know it. We laughed at all the memories of the daft and silly things he did and there were so many, but then after the laughter we all cried again, as it brought it home how much we had lost. Who will make us laugh again now.. Herbie was a one off a unique dog, a dog so unlike what he was suppose to be. He was suppose to chase and hunt but instead he thought hed be different and so he was, I always said he was more like a little boy in a hound coat rather than a dog. This morning what hit me again was the silence... Herbie so loved to talk to you. He warbled away if you asked him a question.. dont know what he was saying , but it was so endearing, well most of the time, not quite so at 6am when he demanded his brekkie. But God what I would give for that now, to hear him again. I keep imagining I am hearing his peeps and my daughters have said that too, maybe he is still here. Oh God how I cried for him to come back, God how I yearned for him, how I cried for him to not leave us but to haunt us, just so he was still around still with us. This morning Herbie is in North Wales, we chose this place to have him cremated as it was his favourite place for days out. Tomorrow we are all going to pick him up and take him for one last time to see his favourite haunts before bringing him back home. I want him in the living room with us , still part of our family. My OH is making a shelf to sit him on, I didnt want to put him in another room , I wanted him still with us at all times. I am also having two key rings of his hair and a pendant to hold him near me, I cant bare to be parted from him and this brings me comfort, to have at least some of him still with me. I went to bed crying and I woke at 5am crying..I cried for so long, nothing would stop it. I dreamt of him last night too, he was standing before me all healed and smiling his kooky smile... and I woke immediately and started crying. He was just so special, his goodness and happiness was infectious. Everyone who met him said how he radiated happiness and it was so true. I know he was unique, he was special and I doubt very much that there will EVER be another like him and I guess I must be thankful that it was us that were honoured to have him, and I pray that we did the best for him and gave him a happy life with us. But it comforts me to know that now he is not in any pain any more, has his four legs back and is probably frog hopping around. Tomorrow we are bringing him back home, to be with us once more reunited again.
Posted on: Sat, 05 Jul 2014 13:54:59 +0000
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