I am working on a New Book. JJohn gave it the title My story until now, the Agony and Ecstasy, Here it is. Let us start from the beginning My earliest memories are of being told of how much Jesus loved me. I do not ever remember a time when I did not know about Jesus. I loved Him so much from my very earliest memory. I always knew that I had to talk to Him every day. I knew that my parents would pray with me every night before I went to sleep but I always knew that after they had prayed it was my time to talk to Him. I would always begin my prayers the same way. ”Dear Lord Jesus I love you so much, thank you for loving me so much too, thank you for hearing and answering my prayers”. To this very day I still start my night time prayer with the very same words. Until this moment I do not think I have ever written these words it makes me feel like bursting into floods of tears but that cannot happen as usual I am writing on the plane. I cannot even remember how young I was when this happened, I do not think I could have been much older than two. Jesus was so real to me and he still is. I never had a conversion experience because I always loved Jesus so much and always knew he loved me. I confess I have never once doubted this not even when at Cambridge doing theology surrounded by doubting people it never happened to me. I was brought up in a very Christian house hold but not an Anglican one. My father (Maurice White) was a very staunch Calvinist by background and my mother (Pauline White) was from a classical Pentecostal AOG background. I must confess I rather like seeing peoples shock and horror when I tell them in churches that I have never been converted. I remember as a child being rather concerned that I had never given my heart to Jesus. I remember trying many times as a child trying to cut out the shape of a heart and give it to Jesus. I never could manage to cut out the shape properly. Yet I always knew that I loved Jesus and that he loved me. I was clearly influenced by the Pentecostal conference that I used to always be taken to where there were so many appeals and such a concentration on making a decision to follow Jesus. It was at this early age that I first realised the tension between my Pentecostal and Strict Baptist/Calvinistic heritage. The earliest book I ever remember being read was Bunyan’s Holy War. Very different from what most children ever experience. It was also from my earliest childhood that I can remember being told about what were in essence complex theological concepts. By the age of six I could list the five points of Calvinism, with the acronym TULIP. Total Depravity Unconditional Election Limited Atonement Irresistible Grace Perseverance of the Saints I did not just know all the points of TULIP I could also say what each point meant. There was no question about it I had a very strange upbringing. I remember that ever Sunday morning we would go to the Strict Baptist Sunday School, followed by their morning service. We would rush home for our family Sunday lunch and then head to the large Assemblies of God Church for there afternoon Sunday School we would then have a packed meal that we would take with us and stay on to their evening service. My earliest memories as a child were of an exceptionally happy childhood with my older sister Joanna (2 years older than me) and Mark my brother who was only 11 months younger. From the earliest days I remember having an abundance of toys and nearly all of them were made by my father. There were two in particular that were very important to me. The first was a wooden farmyard that my father had made. It had all the outbuildings, a wonderful surround of wooden trees. To my farm I would take my array of plastic farm animals. I was sure that my animals loved my farm. There was just one thing different about my farm and that was my favourite animal it was a kangaroo. The kangaroo was not just one of may farm animals it was also my favourite soft toy this time not made by my father but knitted by my mother, it even had a baby in its pouch. My other memorable toy came when I was older and lasted me for several years. It was the most amazing wooden go cart I have ever seen. Once again made by my father but this was a go cart extraordinaire. Made mainly from wood it was built like a vintage Rolls Royce, it had a working steering wheel and built in highly effective suspension. All the body of the car was wooden apart from the front which was made of metal and based on the front of a silver ghost Rolls Royce. It was simply amazing. The bonnet of the car lifted up and inside I kept an extensive first aid kit. First aid was a very major interest of mine and from the age of 9 I was a member of the St Johns Ambulance Brigade. Thursday nights were the highlight of the week for me as this was the night that night that we would go and have our first aid lessons and practice. As I look back 40 years ago it amazes me how much we were taught as children. To me being taught was not enough you also had to practice. So I started treating all the children in the neighbourhood who had simple accidents. Within a short while if any child was hurt in the neighbourhood I would go on my go cart to provide them this service. It was not long before the local doctor was even complimenting my first aid service. Another unusual thing of my childhood was the philo Semitic attitude of my father. He did not just teach me about Christianity but also Judaism I learnt that it was the total foundation of our faith. I was also taught about the evils of anti Semitism and even the Holocaust. As a child I lived in an area of London which had traditionally been very Jewish we therefore had the main London Jewish Cemetery. I never saw the cemetery being attacked but I thought it could be therefore I would regularly go and stand at the cemetery to keep guard. It was at this young age that I started reading about Judaism and Medicine. Other children would be reading the Beano Cartoons and I was reading Understanding Judaism by Rabbi Luis Jacobs and An Introduction To Surgery. I would spend hours in the libraries looking for the right books. Take them home and devour them. A very strange childhood indeed. I remember the class being asked at school by our teacher, what we wanted to do when we grew up. I knew without doubt that I wanted to do two things I wanted to work in Anaesthetics and be a priest. I was told quite clearly that I could only do one thing and I could not be a priest because I was a Baptist and they did not have priest. Good job that even at such a young age such words did not deter me. This is just the beginning there are many more strange things to come.
Posted on: Sun, 17 Nov 2013 09:05:11 +0000
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