I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment.11(Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own free will. For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever. —Philemon 1:10-16 Now tell me—is this not true? Relationships sever over issues. When an issue becomes more important than the person, the relationship is going south. Now, I understand some issues are important and we have to stand for the truth. But in Onesimus’ case, Paul chooses to let the value of the person outweigh the value of the offense. Notice here,“I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment.”Paul doesn’t say, “I want to talk to you about how much this cost you.” He doesn’t start with the issue. But when is the issue more important than the relationship? I got some great counsel from Scott Huffaker once who said to me, “Don’t make that person’s relationship with God be the test of the relationship with you.” You can stand for the truth and stand by what you believe without forcing that relationship into estrangement over truth. If you can’t pick the fruit, don’t bruise it. Keep loving and give God time to work that out. That’s what Paul is doing here.
Posted on: Thu, 16 Jan 2014 10:50:25 +0000
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