I call a jihad on THINNNNGS today. THINGS are behaving with the apex of recalcitrance, and Im in NO mood. In somewhat chrono-order: • THINGS are slipping, skittering, dropping, tangling and tripping me up from a distance often longer than I can reach (so its not ALWAYS my clumsiness). • My Twatter account (which I havent logged onto in days) sent a blank message to Kristin Hersh. I only know this because she responded, yes? (Password = changed) • Hooking my Blu Ray drive up to my computer, it wouldnt be acknowledged. • So I checked the cables and a Diet Coke (full) flew off the desk and poured most of itself all over the spaghetti-monster of cords and power bars on the floor. • I mopped it up with a towel, smashed my face on Taylor Lyons marble table, then went to rinse the in the downstairs bathroom sink, which promptly clogged. • I opened the computer up to fiddle with the janky SATA cord which is supposed to connect to the internal DVD drive. Cord broke. Computer shut off. Now when I attempt to boot, the fans turn on high enough to blow an autotuned starlets hair in a slo-mo slutbag video, but nothing else happens. Moving the computer out from under the desk, I found a stray Percoset, which I took as a sign that THINGS were not my friends today, and I should just take a little pain holiday. (Mmm. Floor pills.) • Leaving the computer fiasco, I went to reheat some leftovers but they had disappeared. After ten minutes of searching, I found I had filled the Tupperware last night and put it back in the Tupperware cabinet…instead of the fridge. Reheated and ate some anyway, and if I get ptomaine, Ill nod reverently for THINGS masterful gambit and accept my death with grace and dignity. And Percoset. • Ben said, I may need you to hold the 20 ladder for me in a bit. Thats an unwise request, I said, explaining my cat fight with THINGS today. Id rather not have Bens neck broken because of my curse. Hes my favorite THING!
Posted on: Mon, 10 Nov 2014 20:05:01 +0000
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