I cant believe the changes in my life these past few months. All of these quite unfortunate things have happened to me, yet with each new blow comes a new sense of peace. I just read a quote on Vedanta about the symptoms of enlightenment. Is this what I am experiencing? I am also getting satisfied with a much smaller amount of food than I ever used to. Things do not bother me the way they have in the past, and every single day I feel ecstatic to be alive, to see people, to learn something new. I have this new fire in my heart. I am feeling so alive. How is this possible?, is what I keep asking myself. But from today forward I will no longer question it. For my friends and family who can not understand why I am staying in Uganda, all I can say to you is that I have found my calling, my purpose in life. It is to build community and awareness HERE. If you consider that to be me running away from my life in the USA, then so be it. I will not live according to your standards or expectations. If you truly love me, you will see that my spirit is free here, that I am the happiest I have EVER been in my entire life, and that THIS is the place I need to be right now. It does not mean you have lost me, nor does it mean that I will stay here forever. It simply means that for the time being, I am here, and no matter how much you think I am doing something wrong, no matter how much you try to guilt trip me into living under the oppression of what society deems as correct behaviour, I am staying put. Be happy for me. If you can release your expectations of me and watch me flourish in my own way, I am sure you will also find happiness and peace. Do it for yourself. Not for me. But please, do love me for who I am, and stop trying to get me to be who you want me to be or who you think I SHOULD be. This is who I am. I am the flower you so love. If you pick me, I will die. If you want to see my blossoms unfold, leave me in my sea of grass and watch me spread my seeds of joy across the field. I love each and every person that I have come into contact with. Although we might not see eye to eye, you are appreciated by me for who you are. Dont be discouraged by this. It is my inner muse, pouring her soul out. This does not mean I have gone off the deep end. It means I am happy and content with where I am in life. Stop letting Babylon tell you what to expect. Be free. I encourage each of you to stop worrying and planning so much. Yes, there are distinct challenges to this lifestyle, but if you walk it with a positive outlook, there will always be an improvement. Maybe if you let go you will also experience the joy I am experiencing each day. There is still so much for me to learn and alter about myself. I am not fearful of these lessons or changes. I embrace them, fully. Love, unity, respect, community, enlightenment, Peace. Each of these I send to you. AYA! OM NAMAH SHIVAYA
Posted on: Sat, 02 Aug 2014 17:56:59 +0000
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