I feel like Im disappearing all over again. Or I feel LIKE disappearing. Both, really. For the second time in my life all that is ME is draining away, and I dont know where its going. Holding on to bits and pieces while the big things, the important things, slip through and away. Moments of lucidity just add focus to pictures better off left blurred... not better for the pictures, better for me, at least in the short term. Ill handle it, I always handle it. Its what I do... the eternal optimist. The thought that maybe I wont succeed this time is my fear, and fear is the enemy, they say. But, fear is also a motivator. Or maybe, as Frank Herbert once wrote, fear is the mind killer, fear is the little death. Its done its worst already, I hope, so let it come. If Im still standing afterward then hopefully it will be a little re-birth. Ive had one of those before. Time to get right with the world.
Posted on: Mon, 09 Jun 2014 04:32:45 +0000
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