I feel pretty good today. I feared a slight setback yesterday but I’m doing okay and in a very good place. I’m tired as I stayed up very late watching a movie, writing to a friend and of course getting my five lives (for some reason they cut to the chase and gave me only four) lives in Candy Crush. Damn game. I was watching “Absolute Power” with Clint Eastwood. This is a classic kind of cheesy late 90’s movie with Gene Hackman as President and Clint Eastwood as a jewel thief who witnesses a murder and cover up. I’m not here to give a movie review (I’m still working on my first book review) but I will tell you that I love Clint Eastwood movies. There is something I find very comforting about watching a Clint Eastwood movie. And it’s my opinion, just like potato chips, ice cream, running, my kind of music, and Longhorn Football that this is good for my soul. Okay, maybe not always Longhorn Football (okay for my readers in other countries The University of Texas Longhorn American Football) as that can be tough sometimes but I’m there when they are good and when they are not so good so I can never be accused of being a bandwagon guy. Always have been and always will. And for my friends out there who are Aggies or fans of other teams or graduates of other schools, please humor me and I don’t mean to upset you on this glorious morning. It’s just what I like to do and have since I was six. Is there anyone else who can go off on a Clint Eastwood, chips, and college football on a mental health page? I think not. I’ll try to cut it down and be more succinct but the odds of that happening make winning the Powerball lottery look good. I have quite a few topics in my head. One topic is another is me being judgmental when you know I so don’t want to but I am guilty just like everyone else. I’m not judgmental about a person’s religion or politics but the things I find “frustrating” or “dumb.” One such frustration came a few days ago when the Austin American Statesman had an online poll asking people how long they have lived here in Austin. This was done in conjunction with Austin being deemed the 11th largest city in the United States. There have always been issues with people moving here and of course once a person moves here they usually become anti-growth or so the joke goes. Then they have a little section in the paper where they display the question asked and some of the reader responses. This was an unscientific poll broken down into sections of years with the final one being “entire life.” Now while I may have gone to Pflugerville Middle and High Schools and lived in Pflugerville and Round Rock that is (on a much smaller scale) like living in Santa Monica or Hollywood and considering yourself a Los Anglean. Only when I lived in Pflugerville it was much much much smaller and same for Round Rock. These are all suburbs of Austin and to me, if you live in the metro area and have to go into said town every day then you still live in that city. That’s my view. You read the Austin paper and watch Austin television and all that stuff. My point is I have lived here all my life. I was born here and will die here unless I’m traveling which I have said about a million and one times now. There is a point to this. The print some of the online comments in the paper and one of the comments might be one of the single stupidest things I’ve ever read. If the person reads the page well I’m sorry and I suppose I will lose a reader but seriously…A lot of people who move to Austin like to take shots at native Austinites. I don’t know if any of this is an issue wherever you live bust since Austin’s growth is exploding, it is a huge issue here and therefore people who move here HATE hearing about how great “old Austin” was. I personally do have fond memories of “old Austin.” But I understand everything changes. However, this gentleman (I assume because it was a man’s name) said, “I feel sorry for those people who have lived here all of their lives because they lack the opportunity for personal growth due to living in only one place.” Huh? That is the single dumbest thing I’ve ever read. Seriously? I guess that explains everything. I didn’t move. Maybe if I had I could have learned how to cope better with my issues. I wonder if the person finds the irony of writing that statement while living in said city. So I suppose this person will be moving soon. Is he like Caine from “Kung Fu” walking the Earth? Last time I checked we weren’t on lockdown here in Austin. We actually can leave the city and there is even an airport, bus station, train station, and several roads leading out of town. I love to travel and I traveling should be back up at the top on the things I love. I absolutely love it. Sorry for my rant and yes, this one I noted the other day because it struck me as just plain dumb. We may not always grow personally and maybe there are times when we need a change of scenery but I really doubt that moving around from town to town makes you qualified to be a self help guru because you understand personal growth. If that were the case then every “military brat” would be the wisest among us. I know this has nothing to do with anything and I like I wrote, I claim not to be judgmental and I’m not on the big things but on some “little” things that I find just flat out dumb; I can’t help myself. The next thing is I JUST now read online a headline about what happens when male stars cut off their “Manly Manes?” Okay…I don’t care if a person has long or short hair or is bald or has a Mohawk. However you want to have your hair is your business. But “Manly Manes?” Really? Call me old school but not only is this ridiculous but with social media there really is just too much stuff out there. And I didn’t even click on this one. This was one of my “headline” stories on MSN. I know I’m not one to talk about too much time or too many thoughts as I literally write about NOTHING. But that is kinda the point and to let you into my world and my thoughts and to tell my story. I guess times they just keep on changing. Everything is very depersonalized now and so quick and in 5 second blurbs. I know it’s why my page is tough to read. It’s long and it takes 5 minutes and that is time none of us feel like we have. Hey think about me writing it I don’t really take any of this seriously, even the personal growth issue. Okay, that maybe a little. Even I am allowed to be judgmental if it really doesn’t affect or hurt anyone. And who knows, at the end of the day maybe the guy is right. What do I know? If you agree, disagree or just don’t care that’s great but I hope you will check out my story even though it gets harder to write as my audience gets larger. It was always hard and everyday it gets harder and harder. Although yesterday was the first day the page didn’t grow and in fact lost someone. It wasn’t the first time and I know it won’t be the last. I always say something wrong. It has to be because I think I have only un-liked a page like once and that was because I got offended and only because it wasn’t appropriate for me and as you can read I’m no prude. Alright all the rambling is over for this morning or well, now it’s after noon so I’ll call it quits for now but I’ll be back on later. I’m sure you can’t wait. I will post chapter 17 tonight as well. I’m going to go finish my coffee and get ready and go run. We may try to go back down to the lake house this afternoon before our cousins leave. Other than that the NBA Final are tonight and well sorry Heat fans and Spurs haters but my dad and Denise’s dad is from San Antonio as well as my granddaddy and my grandmomma lived there for about 60 years so I have quite a fondness for San Antonio. I’m still hoping Faith and I can make a game. I have been to the previous four finals so I would like to make it five. I most likely will have to record the game though and watch it after so I don’t get too stressed. LOL…Funny how sports can do that to us. Even people who have gone through all kinds of unbelievable stuff and we can still get all worked up over a game although it’s nothing like Longhorn Football for me and it’s also not near as bad as it was at one time. My illness did put things into perspective. When I start caring about sports a lot is when I am doing well. When I start feeling the fire of anger and frustration die down I start feeling at peace and that is what is happening now. I’m sorry for taking up these 5 minutes and just rambling on. I’m sure I’ll lose 5 or 6 readers today if I’m not careful. I don’t want to and I want to help and hopefully I will in some small way. The story will always tell you where I have been in my roundabout way. Please take care and have a good day. Forgive me for rambling and if I offended your sense of self growth, affinity for manly manes, or you hate Clint Eastwood, Texas Football or the San Antonio Spurs. Sorry, we all like what we like and yes I guess that includes moving around to gain self growth. Talk to you later. Oh, yeah, been sober for 31 days! Peace out and God bless.
Posted on: Thu, 06 Jun 2013 17:53:50 +0000
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