I had a very serious session with myself yesterday that came with some tears, being brutally honest with myself and allowing God to build me as well. Simply put, I was UNCOVERING MY LAYERS. For the first time in a long time, I admitted to myself that I AM NOT WHOLE YET. I know my worth in my MIND but I don’t quite BELIEVE it in my heart. I think as women, we’ve been empowered enough; we know the importance of SELF-LOVE and SELF-CONFIDENCE but for too many of us, the EMPOWERMENT REMAINS IN OUR MINDS AND DOESN’T REACH OUR HEARTS. We still entertain situations that WE KNOW will cause us harm because back in our SUBCONSCIOUS MINDS, a mountain of DAMAGING BELIEFS still exists. Some of us still think that we are NOT BEAUTIFUL (more especially without layers of fake hair and make-up), that we are just the UNLUCKY ones that don’t deserve faithful and loving men (otherwise you wouldn’t still be in that messed up relationship…) and that because YOU HAVE A CHILD, you should SETTLE for less than what you deserve in relationships. You are HIV positive and think that it’s gonna be hard for a man to choose to STAY WITH YOU after knowing your status…you are SO DESPERATE that you want to hold on to that man BY FALLING PREGNANT… WE STILL DON’T LOVE AND VALUE OURSELVES ENOUGH! I decided to contact my biological father this past weekend and before doing it, I had this FEAR of how he would respond or if he would respond at all. I noticed something important: I have the SAME kind of fear when it comes to men or when I’m in expectation of something good in my life. I have fear of getting DISAPPOINTED. Every moment that I needed him to SHOW UP and he didn’t, a mountain of damaging beliefs was busy being built in my subconscious mind. We are often left to deal with MOUNTAINS OF DAMAGING BELIEFS CONSTRUCTED BY OUR PARENTS’ CHOICES, PAST EXPERIENCES AND ENVIRONMENTS WE GREW UP IN, and until we acknowledge those mountains and CALL THEM FOR WHAT THEY ARE, we will NEVER be whole. We will continue to find ourselves in MESSED UP SITUATIONS. Life has the main objective of REFLECTING BACK to us the state of our INTERNAL BEINGS, when you keep attracting the SAME kind of messed up situations then it’s time to EXAMINE YOUR SOUL honestly. And the thing about us women is that when see that a situation has potential to cause us harm, WE SAY NO BUT STILL ENTERTAIN IT INSTEAD OF SAYING #NO AND #WALKING #AWAY. We should not try to negotiate with harmful situations!!! From personal experience and observation of other women, we’d rather go for guys that don’t appreciate our worth than for the guys that are good to us. And in my introspection session, my explanation for this was that I’M STILL BATTLING TO UNDERSTAND MY WORTH. I’m gonna be frank: #MEN #ARE #HUNTERS! When an animal goes hunting, it spends time studying the target, strategizing how to best go after it and when it finally goes to catch it, IT SPENDS A LOT OF ENERGY. That’s how it should be with us as well; THAT MAN SHOULD STUDY YOU, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO BEST APPROACH YOU AND “CATCH” YOU. HIS MIND SHOULD BE MADE UP THAT YOU ARE THE #ONLY #TARGET. HE SHOULD SPEND HIS #TIME, #ENERGY AND #RESOURCES IN A MISSION TO “CATCH” YOU. *Stop being EASY* If he is not available then DON’T ENTERTAIN HIM. REFUSE anyone from bringing a mess into your life, it is #YOUR #RESPONSIBILITY TO PROTECT YOUR SOUL! When your soul isn’t well, you become INEFFECTIVE IN LIFE. But before we even say ‘YES’ to the hunters we first need to DEAL WITH OUR MOUNTAINS (of fears, insecurities, anger, pain etc.). Being WHOLE means the BODY, SOUL AND SPIRIT are intact. The good thing is that we don’t have to deal with our mountains on our own, our *God can help us.* I honor my future husband enough that I HAVE TO BE #COMPLETE WHEN HE ARRIVES and that’s why I have such sessions.
Posted on: Thu, 16 Oct 2014 07:58:20 +0000