I have figured out what has made me so upset over the last three months. But Ive learned as of just a half an hour ago is that my mom is full of PTSD from her country being invaded by Russia when she was 18 years old when the United States turned our back on hungry she had to flee with a quarter million other Gariance and she is been on the run ever cents and I grew up with her neurosis. Sobut Im learning is I have observed much of her PTSD for she pushed me through life in such a panic in a rush that it has overwhelmed me for 44 years. Now I am seeing that I no longer need to carry her burden I just need to move forward calmly and peacefully without her neurosis ruling my life. So I apologize to everybody for all the urgent messages and the craziness but if you just took the time toto understand what shoes Ive had to walk in for the last 44 years you might send some sympathy in my direction. But I am not asking for sympathy I am just asking for everything that Ive said to be water under the bridge. Its time to move forward free man. I have enjoyed sharing a lot of my life with all of you on Facebook showing you what my days like the kind of videos I like to watch the kind of postings I like to post. I hope you have all enjoyed at least some of it. And I apologize for going crazy and how much I posted over the last few weeks. But I have been struggling to save my life and I believe I have just figured out the answer. The answer is that I am great the way I am and I do not have to carry around my parents neurosis of having both of their countries invaded by our country. It is time to MoveOn and enjoy the rest of my life. It was nice meeting you all thank you for all your support kind Nessand love. Later on I will start a new day and enjoy my life and not have to carry my parents burden on my shoulders anymore. I apologize to my sister who never was really part of my family the way I was with my parents fortunately she did not get triangulated into the nightmare of having to deal with my parents on a regular basis she lived in the separate part of the house and I had a separate life from the craziness between my father mymother and I. I apologize to my mother and father for all the craziness of the last 44 years. But you chose to give birth to me and you passed on not only your greatness but also your neurosis. The last three months was me full out dealing with your neurosis that got inherited into my life. I no longer need to carry that burden around with me. Thank you for that lesson I never thought I would learned in this lifetime.
Posted on: Wed, 14 Jan 2015 07:10:08 +0000
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