I have to say this tonight. No one should ever judge that a mother deserves to lose a child. After Ricky died, I blame myself. I felt that there must have been some unpardonable sin that I must have done to deserve that kind of pain. And unless you have put a child in the cold ground you have no earthly idea the kind of suffering that you live with ever day of your life. And I do mean suffering....because its not a few days of pain, its a lifetime. I finally realized though that God doesnt work like that. Would he punish my other children for my mistakes? My husband? His grandparent? His aunts and uncle? All his friends? God knew his days on earth the day he was conceived. The Bible tells us so. God is loving and does what works for the good of those who love Him. He did what was best for Ricky. I was unable to see the road Ricky would choose but I know where his heart was the day he died because we had a long talk about a lot of stuff that night. I felt really good after the talk knowing Who had Rickys heart. This baby may touch the lives of so many and bring them to Christ or to cherish what they have. Jade will come from this stronger in some ways and weaker in others. But her life is going to be extraordinarily painful for a long time. She needs love and grace just exactly like Jesus would give her. Set an example like Christ. This is a great time to show His love through you. Maybe out of all the dirt flung tonight...beauty rise.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Mar 2014 06:11:16 +0000