I havent been able to post on FB in several weeks. Tending to the affairs of Grants demise and business have been all encompassing. In addition, the attempt of a return to normal life has been unobtainable. To be honest, the pain and grief has almost taken over both Karen and me. Talking about it even to each other is like sticking a knife into your own heart, inch by inch. So, we try not to. We just hurt individually and together but quietly. Still, there comes a time, like now, that I want to thank the hundreds of people who have reached out to Karen and me, and Grants brother and sister. There were many times that I felt sorry for you. What are you supposed to say at a loss like this? The truth is, there is nothing of value to say. The most sincere comments were simply the I am so terribly sorry together with the tears and hurt that were so evident from the voices delivering them. Yes, that and the remembrances from others who knew Grant and relayed the stories of his unique and special nature. Funny, but the only comment that bothered me came from a friend who knew full well that what came from his mouth was totally inappropriate; well things like this make you realize what is important in life. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could have been more appropriate in this instance. I have known what was important for many, many years; my family. I spent almost every afternoon with my children during their entire youth. I shut down a construction company in 1998 that was doing over $10,000,000 a year so I could spend more time with them. I picked Grant up from school most afternoons from the time he was in the 3rd grade and transferred to public school. I have, and will continue, to dedicate my life to my children and my wife. Period. I didnt need that tragedy, or anything else, to show me what is important in life. The only thought or new verbalization that has come from this tragedy is the fact that I truly know who and what I am. No, I am not a lawyer, or a real estate manager, or a real estate developer, or a pilot, or anything else. I am a parent and a husband. And I have dedicated my life to that. Period. The loss of my precious Grant has cut a hole in my soul that will never be replaced. I live for Karen and John and Meredith and Big Hugh and Little Hugh, and Milton and Murphy; for nothing else. That being said, all that being said, the enormous thank yous that are truly sincere and heart felt, I must now, try to move forward. My way may not be your way, or meet your approval but really that is irrelevant, it is, after all, my hurt, and my mission to deal with it, in my way. I had only entered Facebook a few months ago and had limited my friends to people that I truly felt were my friends. On June 22, the day that I got the call of Grants death, I had less than 50 friends on FB. Today, I have over 400. I appreciate that, but, and it is a big but, I am very uncomfortable sharing mine and Karens lives, and those of the rest of my family with 400 people, many, most in fact, of who, I dont even know. I actually feel that I need my true friends on Facebook, but 400, that is not realistic or sensible. It would take a long time for me to delete 350 friends, so I ask for your help. Unless you really have a connection with me, are a real friend of mine, or feel some true and legitimate concern form me, then I ask, no, I beg you to de-friend me now. Let me get on with the task of trying to patch up my torn and rent soul involving only people who care, not those who are just curious. If you truly care, you will understand this request. If you dont then, you will have a wonderful opportunity to judge and criticize me, so, in a way, nobody loses. Thank you, John Green
Posted on: Tue, 05 Aug 2014 01:34:07 +0000
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