I havent picked up a guitar in 5 months until tonight. I needed a break from it for some reason. And a lot of the songs I used to play, that I wrote, are bluesy, minor chord sounding songs. But theres this one song, that I felt like playing, and Im sitting here in the dark, its been a long day, the girls are asleep in the other room, and I started playing it, its a very soothing sort of song, and suddenly I felt sunshine, I felt light, and I immediately thought of Shiyloh (mine and Lauras niece who passed away last August). Most of my thoughts about her lately have been about sadness, or feeling for Dan and Patrice, for Laura, for all of our family, and all that they are feeling as we approach a year since shes been gone. Its been really hard for everyone lately and my heart really goes out to each of them. But I didnt feel sad tonight, I felt warm, and I didnt feel sorry for anyone in that moment, I felt happy for them, because we got to spend time with her, because she made us better. It wasnt as much time as we would have liked. But I thought back to her funeral, and all the amazing experiences that were shared that day, and the lives that she touched and continues to touch. And that made me smile (and cry a little too, but happy tears). So I sat her in the darkness, playing that song over and over, feeling her warmth, feeling the good that this world is capable of. Feeling that its not a lost cause, that things do and can work. Feeling that shes still here, as far away as she feels sometimes, shes still with us, still making our lives better. And I feel inspired, to try to push through the pain, to make the world a better place. Because Shiyloh would have wanted us to do that. Ive been a bit of a grumpy workaholic lately, and thats something Id like to change, something Im going to change. We certainly miss you Shiyloh and we always will, and Im sure the coming weeks are going to be extremely hard, but if were there for each other as family and friends, and if we continue to embody all that Shiyloh was, well be ok. Im going to spend the next few weeks remembering what an awesome little person she was, and how grateful I am that I got to be her uncle. She definitely made the world (and my world) a better place and will continue to do that for a long time still. Laura Hill, Patrice Rose, Shi Lo, Kim Hill, Nahnda Garlow, Jonathan Garlow, Whitney Hill, Danus J Hill (for some reason it wont tag Dan), Paul E Copoc, Sarah Copoc, Ryan Van Dijk, James D Ascher, Jonas Iscariot, Roan Bateman, Olde Nightrifter, Lisa Wood, Janet Hill, Sorry if I missed anyone here. It also wont let me properly tag everyone so I have to mention them instead.
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 03:32:44 +0000
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