I havent talked about my mental health struggles for a while. Our family is in a bit of a crisis at the moment and I feel helpless and afraid, although my wonderful husband has taken so much of the burden and I really dont know what I - what WE, really - would do without his steady support, patience, and unconditional love. Even with the major obstacles, there are good things happening. I am in counseling now - something I highly recommend to anyone struggling with anxiety and depression and something I couldnt bring myself to do when at my darkest - and she is helping me learn to have more confidence in my decisions and motivations and more forgiving towards myself when I mess up. These are very difficult issues to tackle, things I have spent my entire life dealing with in an unhealthy way, but I have hope, something that has been in seriously short supply for far too long. One of the things that is helping me deal with things better is medication. I was fortunate that the first medication I was put on helped without side effects, but it wasnt enough. In addition to as needed anxiety pills (needed almost every day until recently), I was put on a second medication that had major weight gain side effects and I couldnt keep taking it. I was switched to a new medication (in addition to the first - one helps with the severe depression and the other for the major mood swings that happen when you are bipolar) and the combination is really working. I havent needed the anxiety meds in two weeks and I am not constantly crying or angry or anxious (or all three at once). I am sleeping better. I am starting to see light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, this new medication has the opposite side effect from the last - I have absolutely no appetite and am not eating nearly enough. I am consuming, at most, half the calories I should. My nails are brittle, my hair and skin is unhealthy, and I am dropping weight at a ridiculous pace - around half a pound a day. I really feel like the benefits outweigh the problems, but I would still appreciate any thoughts or prayers you could send my way. My family needs them, too.
Posted on: Mon, 10 Nov 2014 22:40:36 +0000
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