I just want to be done. I sit here in tears. The times of hurt just hurt way too much. Ive had my heart broken a million times over other peoples problems, inconveniences and accidents. Ive given my whole heart, all of my money, and all of my time. After 14 years, I cannot see a dent. Yes, I think of those Ive saved and loved along the way, but I honestly do not think it is making a difference in the big picture. On a daily basis, I can scroll through pages upon pages of puppies for sale, dogs to get rid of. They are not spayed or neutered, they are rarely vaccinated and yet people pay hundreds of dollars for a puppy with no vaccination. More are bred, more are put into the system without one thought of the consequences. No one cares. Ive decided that. The small circle of animal advocates that I surround myself with are a drop in an ocean of heartbreak and defeat. We give our all, all of the time. We take on your problems, and you walk away. We take on the burden, and you will continue on, without a second thought. Our peers lift us up in times of difficulty, and we in turn, do the same for them. We offer words of support and inspiration. Yet, our words mean nothing, our tears mean little , and our precious time is sacrificed. Our finances are squeezed until they can be squeezed no more. We lose ourselves. Im not sure, once we are here, if we can ever get it back. Last night as I laid awake all night, hands clenched in prayer, I felt like my body was going to implode on itself. I could literally feel my heart. Every stressed beat of it. I could not calm it. Why? Because I care more about someone elses puppy than they could ever had . They bred a dog who was a puppy herself, with the intent to raise a litter and make a few bucks. Then they get their kids taken away from them, and your pets have to go. I get called. When I asked if she had her vaccinations, they gleefully said yes. They were more interested in telling me they were Purebreds , as they shoved her and her pups at me. Yeah, because a purebred in a rescue or shelter is such a rare thing... I should feel like they did me a favor. Turns out this puppy you bred had one measly vaccination when she was 14 weeks old. She lived in squalor with your family. And you used her to try to make yourselves a few hundred dollars on her purebred puppies. We took her in, isolated her and her pups, vaccinated them when the time came, loved them, and now I am faced again with heartbreak because of someone elses irresponsibility. Greed. It always ends up being greed . Most humans are shit. The other rare few try to make up for it. But we wont. Ever. But the good ones always keep trying.
Posted on: Tue, 29 Jul 2014 17:48:13 +0000